Mika’s Birth Story

 

P A R T.  O N E:

Mika’s Birth Story 

March 31 - April 1, 2023 

Tuesday March 22nd, 2023 I had strong contractions on and off in the morning. I swore it was labor starting. So my mom packed up and made her 3 hr trip to our house. Contractions lasted all day sporadically.

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Around 9pm they stopped. And didn’t start back up again consistently for the entire week. But I did have some pretty strong contractions at random each day. They weren’t just Braxton Hicks but it’s what we label as prodromal labor. Those surges are doing a lot to prepare the cervix & the body for labor. But it just isn’t quite time for baby to be born.

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Fast forward to March 31st at 2pm I had a few stronger surges. But because I had already had so many for 9 days, I didn’t think much of them until they kept coming again & again. Then I knew this was the real deal. 40 weeks + 4 days.

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Our photographer Alyssa, midwife Eileen & a close friend, Rachel, made their way to our home. Each coming from different distances.

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We had set up everything in our bedroom so I was resting & meditating with @christianhypnobirthing in our bed between walking & standing.

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As soon as everyone arrived, I definitely felt more relaxed & labor started to pick up. Kaleb helped with counter pressure & so did Eileen. Ember was the sweetest & kept coming in to check on me & snuggle.

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Around 11pm I had a surge that was so intense & I decided to get in the pool, the warm water alleviates so much of that intensity. And it helps me stay relaxed.

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Baby was very engaged & low, which was causing a lot of pressure & the feelings of wanting to push. But I just didn’t feel like my body was ready to push. It’s hard to explain it. So I had Eileen check dilation because I didn’t want to push & cause my cervix to swell or be pinched. I was at a 7 & my waters were bulging…. 

P A R T.  T W O:

Mika’s Birth Story

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After I was checked & new that my intuition of -not feeling like I should give in to the pushy feeling just yet- was correct, we decided to breath through a few surges & not push & let my cervix do what it needed to do.

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Those few surges were intense. We decided to try standing up through a few & let my legs get some blood flow since I’d been on my knees for two hours in the pool at that point.

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I stood through 3 really intense ones. And then I had to have the heat of the water to help with the feelings of wanting to push.

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Baby was tolerating everything really well. And was kicking during surges & after. At one point baby had hiccups through a few of those last hour contractions. That was a crazy cool feeling. Baby was doing everything to make an escape.

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I always love retelling the birth story and saying “baby” because in that part of the journey, we didn’t yet know who baby was (boy or girl or name). It’s fun to remember a time prior to knowing & meeting our baby.

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I had Eileen check again & my cervix was really close to 9cm. So I breathed through some more surges. I’m not sure how many. 3-5 I believe. And then I really felt like pushing.

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I had some moments of doubt about whether or not I should push. Eileen said I’ll have you push through 5 & if there’s no change we will take a break for a few more. And that goal, was doable. So I pushed through the next one & felt baby move down a bit. These contractions were giving me a nice couple minute break between. And at this point that feels like a long time…

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PA R T.  T H R E E:

Mika’s Birth Story

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After I was back in the water from standing up, I started to feel like I could push. And I was having some moments of doubt.

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So between a contraction we talked with Eileen and she said, 5 contractions of pushes and if baby hadn’t come then we’d take a break. So that’s what we did.

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The first of those pushes broke my waters with a POP feeling. And the fluid was clear. We waited for the next surge & with that one the baby’s head started to emerge. You will see a photo of Kaleb feeling for the head.

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With the other babies the head came out fast but this time it was half out, so we decided to move me onto my back, on Kalebs lap. And that movement helped so much. With the next surge the baby was out. We were so excited to be done we forgot to look & see what baby was for a bit.

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You’ll see a photo of Kaleb with a huge grin right after we saw that baby is a girl.

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I’m so thankful for everyone who prayed for us & walked alongside us through this journey. I had an amazing support team & couldn’t have done it without each of them. Our amazing photographer not only captured incredible moments, but she took on some Doula responsibilities.

It was everything I could have ever asked for and more. Lots more photos on Instagram

Discuss It.

 Having discussions with your children about pop culture is the key. 

We cannot run from it. It’s everywhere. And the songs are catchy and they get stuck.

We fill their lives with lots of great Christian songs. 

There are also songs about deep stuff and songs about fear but they go over the kids heads for now. And songs my kids say are boring. 

But the world has the songs about being a champion and other ones that sound so great. And pump you up. 

And ones about living in the moment. And yes many filled with selfishness and sin and we don’t listen to those, but I explained that this song on Sing 2, has bad parts and good parts - 

Halsey - could have been me.

Talking about being bad and dying last and not thinking through choices. 

But I also explained that it has good words too. Saying live better days each day. And I never want to look back and say “it could’ve been me”. 

I explained regret and how there are things in life that are right now. And we might not get another chance to say I love you or hug someone. Or learn things when we are kids, when our brain moves fast.

And she is right in the song to say

“I never want to look back and say it could’ve been me.”

I told them that wasting time and staying afraid will cause us to regret good and right things we didn’t do or nice things to say.

And I applied it to riding bike, monkey bars, learning a new skill, reading etc. 

Put it on their level. 

But I told them that we don’t want to forget Jesus - and that’s what this song is missing.

Living our lives selflessly for Jesus. He doesn’t make us do things or not do things. We have the freedom to choose.

And God also wants us to succeed & learn & grow. He doesn’t want us afraid and missing out on life. 

River listened to me and then I saw her watch that movie scene with the song later - and I saw her pumping herself up. And she went out yesterday with Elijah determined to ride her bike. 

She had been so so so afraid. So nervous. Crying. I prayed over her for the fear to leave. I commanded it to go. But here’s the kicker: our brains are in control. I showed her what to do. But it’s her mind and she has to decide internally. 

So I told her weeks ago, it’s up to her to decide. I won’t force it anymore because I don’t want to make her sad. I simply asked each day, want to bike train? She said no. 

But after I explained that Sing 2 song. Something changed.

God used a pop culture kids movie to help me get to River’s heart about riding her bike.

The longer I parent the more I see this very simple reality: 

Never ever ever stop talking about Jesus and Jesus and more Jesus. Never stop living His truth out loud for your kids to see.

Kids don’t understand hypocrisy so I never want to be hypocritical. Which means practicing what I preach. 

I tell them I don’t listen to bad music and they know it because they see me live it. 

Explain it all. Talk to them. Engage their brains. That’s it. That’s the key. 

28 weeks

 28 weeks.

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In April 2012, When I was pregnant the 1st time I absorbed everything pregnancy, birth and baby from day one. I consumed a lot of information. And since then I’ve continued to learn.

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I’ve prayed & meditated & wondered why God took us down a different journey this go around. And while I don’t claim to have all the answers, one thing is abundantly clear, the past 9 years of arming myself with the truth surrounding pregnancy & birth had an even greater purpose. That knowledge became a hedge of protection around my heart & mind.

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In 2021, we faced doctors filled with fear who were ready to take control of our journey. But what they encountered was a husband & wife who could not be shaken.

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The biggest take away for me is, never stop learning. Arming ourselves with facts & TRUTH protects our minds when fear tries to lie to us.

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This journey has shown me so many things. But above all, God works everything out for good when we seek His Kingdom first and keep Jesus at the forefront of our hearts & minds. And even when it feels scary, uncertain or painful, He is there right beside us. But we have to be willing to look, to be still & see Him; His hands at work in mighty ways.

Continued on our blog...

The mainstream system WORKS for us. And when we keep that in mind & refuse to give them complete control over our lives, the fear that lurks in those buildings gets angry & frustrated. It was powerful to experience first hand.

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We asked tough questions when they labeled us high risk & refused to change that even as my body healed.

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When we were told “the goal is viability”. I held firm in my spirit that NO, the goal is full term, & homebirth if the evidence proves healing of the SCH. But I was also mentally preparing for having to seek a birth outside of our home if that’s what God willed. We’ve always held that view. 

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It became abundantly clear that the doctors were never going to tell us I’ve healed to a point where I don’t need them. Because they believe they are always needed.

When we pressed them for “so is Jenni still high risk”? Our answer was “well we recommend continued monitoring every 4-6 weeks and a hospital birth.”

Yeah that did not answer our very simple question. 

Am I high risk?

I have zero other reasons to be high risk other than the SCH that has diminished to barely visible. And we could tell the Doctor didn’t even want to admit that or rejoice or say it out loud. Her fear was palpable. A fear that by telling us we aren’t high risk, THAT would give us complete reason to never return to that masky, bright, yellow tinged wall exam room ever again.

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We will do what makes the most sense and gives us all the best outcome. Is that driving 60 miles to a hospital to be forced into tiny rooms with strangers in masks? For us, it isn’t.

The knowledge I have, is power. And I’m so thankful for the ability to learn & consume as much as I have over the years.

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Arm yourselves with knowledge down any and every Avenue that interests you. It is worth it! Teach it to your children, live it out in front of them.

The same goes for Bible studying & learning. It’s never in vain and it’s always valuable. It calms our souls and renews our minds. 

Ok that’s the end of my rambling for today.

God is good! 

Romans 8:28

Homebirth Articles

 Elijah 1.2.2013 

River 6.2.2016

Ember 3.1.2019

 I I will add articles to this post about safety studies. 

Don’t let providers lie to you. Be educated. 

Mana Study - 17K births

Planned home birth presents little risk where midwifery is well-integrated -- ScienceDaily

There is an article saying that neonatal mortality is higher in homebirths. But here’s a breakdown of why that article is not accurate:

Midwifery Today Responds to Study Questioning Homebirth Safety • Midwifery Today

Is home birth safe? - Dr Sara Wickham

Safety Studies

Another great explanation of the biases in many mainstream meta-analysis studies. 

Home Birth: is it safe? | Mama Natural

27 week update.

 

To everyone who has prayed and followed along: 

THANK YOU!! God is our healer! And we are rejoicing in the healing that has taken place!

This pregnancy has been quite different than my other 3. At 12 weeks I started bleeding and at the ER they really didn’t see anything as to why. They thought possibly there was a spot where an SCH had been. 

And then At 15 weeks I had some spotting, very little, but I felt strange, I had cramps & I just had a feeling like something wasn’t normal. And at the ER, a subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH) was found. And so we made an appointment to get a more detailed scan with an OB. At that appointment, It was a significant size 8-10cm. And this lead us to seek dual care and see a maternal fetal medicine specialist for more follow up scans. 

I am now 27 weeks. We saw the OB once and the specialist 3 times. Each scan showed the bleed/clot to be shrinking. Which means my body has been working hard to absorb the blood.

I also rested and continued to eat healthy. Vitamin E rich foods help healing, along with vitamin C and iron rich foods. And I already eat a low sugar diet, I don’t indulge in sweets and limiting sugar helps healing also. And above all else, we prayed. We spoke positively and all of these details I am now sharing, we held them close to us.

Thank you, for understanding our need for that privacy. I am sharing now because we feel comfortable doing so. We simply ask that you continue to speak positively and lift us up in prayer. I take this special time carrying life very serious. And our words matter. 

A wonderful group of women laid hands and prayed for me in November. Beautiful words were spoken. And after that scan at 22 weeks, the SCH was down to 2-3cm. 

At our first OB appointment in September, she said “there’s nothing I can do. I can’t go in and cauterize it, I can’t suck it out. All we can do is monitor & wait.” Referring to the blood clot. 

But as she said those words above, I thought well there is more I can do. I can pray and be as healthy as possible.

Fast forward to November:  

And one of the ladies praying saying “Lord only you can cauterize this bleed, You are the only one who can touch this and heal her body.”  I cried after hearing that because it hit me how those words were so incredibly hopeful compared to the words from the doctor. I understand they are all about exactly what they see and not giving false hope. And also explaining health concerns. But the words in that prayer hit me and were such a reminder that at certain moments in life it’s ONLY GOD. Man cannot do everything. The doctor could not fix this specific thing. And because it could not be controlled or taken care of by their hands, it makes them fearful. 

And this entire time, I have refused to be fearful. I want to walk this journey out hand in hand with Jesus. And lean on His understanding and trust that I am held and our baby is held. 

The womb is a secret place. A place of mystery and wonder. But God is there.

We will continue praying and thanking God for this beautiful gift. The scan today showed remnants of the bleed. Very little remains. And we are released from the specialist. And will continue with our homebirth plans. 

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

‭‭II Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭NKJV‬

Mothers

 Flashback photo: 6.2.16

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If I’ve learned anything these past 6 years of being a mother, it’s this:

Satan will use anything he can to try and rob us of the joys of motherhood. He hopes we stumble. He wants us to be fearful. He really hopes we become depressed. He would like nothing more than for us to suffer & be at our worst. He wants us to forget about moments like this. Or frankly, he loves it when we are traumatized or robbed of moments. The Moments where we feel strong, and the room is full of love. 

But I am here to remind myself & all of you wonderful mothers out there that, we are more than conquerors. We walk this earth with the same power that rose Jesus from the grave. It’s time we harness that power & use it to benefit us right in our homes; Right where we are in the day in & day out. And I pray we can always remember, when we are weak He is strong. We don’t have to walk around suffering with debilitating burdens & fears. When we hear crippling anxious thoughts, if we arm ourselves with the truth found in God’s word, we can replace those lies with truth. We can bring all of our worries & pain to our Savior & let him carry us.

One of my favorite Psalms is 18, if you haven’t read it in it’s entirety, I dare you to😉. After I read it, I’m reminded of the truth of who God is & how much power we hold by relying on Him:

PSALM 18:1-7

I love you, Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;  my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,  my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise,  and I have been saved from my enemies.

The cords of death entangled me;  the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

The cords of the grave coiled around me;  the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called to the Lord;  I cried to my God for help.

From his temple he heard my voice;  my cry came before him, into his ears.

The earth trembled and quaked,  and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry.

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#homebirth #homesweethomebirth #naturalpregnancy  #midwife #birthwithoutfear #faith #bible #pregnancy #childbirtheducation #motherhoodunplugged #thebirthhour 

Some placenta facts

 Here are some of my personal favorite facts:

THE PLACENTA:

🌳is a multifunctional organ.

—— acting as baby's lungs to supply oxygen, kidneys to filter out waste, & as gastrointestinal & immune systems by delivering nutrients & antibodies.

🌿secretes important hormones during pregnancy.

🌱The combined length of all the capillaries in your placenta is 32 miles.

🌳can provide immunity to the baby long after birth.

🌿is the only Disposable organ

🌱Some women ingest their placenta.

—-most mammals do.

🌳has spiritual significance in some cultures.

🌿Identical twins may or may not share a placenta. {monochorionic, dichorionic}

🌱Both mama & baby’s blood passes through the placenta, but do not mix.

🌳Delayed cord clamping is very important.

—-1/3 of a baby’s blood resides in the placenta.

🌿Babies send cells through the placenta that protect and heal the mother’s organs.

🌱The placenta gives the mother’s immunity to the baby

—-babies are born with double the concentration of blood antibody as their mothers.

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The placenta & it’s creator deserve adoration. This temporary organ brings life to our babies. It nourishes them womb side; Preparing them for life on earth. This organ is miraculous. It’s birth deserves respect. My goal for Ember’s birth was to slow down & marvel in it’s birth; be present & unrushed {barring no complications}. 💛

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What is your favorite fact? .

#40weeks1daypregnant #preggo #babybelly #babynumber3 #love #joy #motherhoodunplugged #momlife  #whynothome #homebirth #holzhauerpartyof5 #pregnancy #pregnant #babybump #bumpdate #homesweethomebirth #midwife #midwifery #naturalpregnancy #instagrammamas #bornathome #birthwithoutfear #birthstory