28 weeks

 28 weeks.

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In April 2012, When I was pregnant the 1st time I absorbed everything pregnancy, birth and baby from day one. I consumed a lot of information. And since then I’ve continued to learn.

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I’ve prayed & meditated & wondered why God took us down a different journey this go around. And while I don’t claim to have all the answers, one thing is abundantly clear, the past 9 years of arming myself with the truth surrounding pregnancy & birth had an even greater purpose. That knowledge became a hedge of protection around my heart & mind.

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In 2021, we faced doctors filled with fear who were ready to take control of our journey. But what they encountered was a husband & wife who could not be shaken.

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The biggest take away for me is, never stop learning. Arming ourselves with facts & TRUTH protects our minds when fear tries to lie to us.

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This journey has shown me so many things. But above all, God works everything out for good when we seek His Kingdom first and keep Jesus at the forefront of our hearts & minds. And even when it feels scary, uncertain or painful, He is there right beside us. But we have to be willing to look, to be still & see Him; His hands at work in mighty ways.

Continued on our blog...

The mainstream system WORKS for us. And when we keep that in mind & refuse to give them complete control over our lives, the fear that lurks in those buildings gets angry & frustrated. It was powerful to experience first hand.

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We asked tough questions when they labeled us high risk & refused to change that even as my body healed.

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When we were told “the goal is viability”. I held firm in my spirit that NO, the goal is full term, & homebirth if the evidence proves healing of the SCH. But I was also mentally preparing for having to seek a birth outside of our home if that’s what God willed. We’ve always held that view. 

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It became abundantly clear that the doctors were never going to tell us I’ve healed to a point where I don’t need them. Because they believe they are always needed.

When we pressed them for “so is Jenni still high risk”? Our answer was “well we recommend continued monitoring every 4-6 weeks and a hospital birth.”

Yeah that did not answer our very simple question. 

Am I high risk?

I have zero other reasons to be high risk other than the SCH that has diminished to barely visible. And we could tell the Doctor didn’t even want to admit that or rejoice or say it out loud. Her fear was palpable. A fear that by telling us we aren’t high risk, THAT would give us complete reason to never return to that masky, bright, yellow tinged wall exam room ever again.

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We will do what makes the most sense and gives us all the best outcome. Is that driving 60 miles to a hospital to be forced into tiny rooms with strangers in masks? For us, it isn’t.

The knowledge I have, is power. And I’m so thankful for the ability to learn & consume as much as I have over the years.

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Arm yourselves with knowledge down any and every Avenue that interests you. It is worth it! Teach it to your children, live it out in front of them.

The same goes for Bible studying & learning. It’s never in vain and it’s always valuable. It calms our souls and renews our minds. 

Ok that’s the end of my rambling for today.

God is good! 

Romans 8:28

Homebirth Articles

 Elijah 1.2.2013 

River 6.2.2016

Ember 3.1.2019

 I I will add articles to this post about safety studies. 

Don’t let providers lie to you. Be educated. 

Mana Study - 17K births

Planned home birth presents little risk where midwifery is well-integrated -- ScienceDaily

There is an article saying that neonatal mortality is higher in homebirths. But here’s a breakdown of why that article is not accurate:

Midwifery Today Responds to Study Questioning Homebirth Safety • Midwifery Today

Is home birth safe? - Dr Sara Wickham

Safety Studies

Another great explanation of the biases in many mainstream meta-analysis studies. 

Home Birth: is it safe? | Mama Natural

27 week update.

 

To everyone who has prayed and followed along: 

THANK YOU!! God is our healer! And we are rejoicing in the healing that has taken place!

This pregnancy has been quite different than my other 3. At 12 weeks I started bleeding and at the ER they really didn’t see anything as to why. They thought possibly there was a spot where an SCH had been. 

And then At 15 weeks I had some spotting, very little, but I felt strange, I had cramps & I just had a feeling like something wasn’t normal. And at the ER, a subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH) was found. And so we made an appointment to get a more detailed scan with an OB. At that appointment, It was a significant size 8-10cm. And this lead us to seek dual care and see a maternal fetal medicine specialist for more follow up scans. 

I am now 27 weeks. We saw the OB once and the specialist 3 times. Each scan showed the bleed/clot to be shrinking. Which means my body has been working hard to absorb the blood.

I also rested and continued to eat healthy. Vitamin E rich foods help healing, along with vitamin C and iron rich foods. And I already eat a low sugar diet, I don’t indulge in sweets and limiting sugar helps healing also. And above all else, we prayed. We spoke positively and all of these details I am now sharing, we held them close to us.

Thank you, for understanding our need for that privacy. I am sharing now because we feel comfortable doing so. We simply ask that you continue to speak positively and lift us up in prayer. I take this special time carrying life very serious. And our words matter. 

A wonderful group of women laid hands and prayed for me in November. Beautiful words were spoken. And after that scan at 22 weeks, the SCH was down to 2-3cm. 

At our first OB appointment in September, she said “there’s nothing I can do. I can’t go in and cauterize it, I can’t suck it out. All we can do is monitor & wait.” Referring to the blood clot. 

But as she said those words above, I thought well there is more I can do. I can pray and be as healthy as possible.

Fast forward to November:  

And one of the ladies praying saying “Lord only you can cauterize this bleed, You are the only one who can touch this and heal her body.”  I cried after hearing that because it hit me how those words were so incredibly hopeful compared to the words from the doctor. I understand they are all about exactly what they see and not giving false hope. And also explaining health concerns. But the words in that prayer hit me and were such a reminder that at certain moments in life it’s ONLY GOD. Man cannot do everything. The doctor could not fix this specific thing. And because it could not be controlled or taken care of by their hands, it makes them fearful. 

And this entire time, I have refused to be fearful. I want to walk this journey out hand in hand with Jesus. And lean on His understanding and trust that I am held and our baby is held. 

The womb is a secret place. A place of mystery and wonder. But God is there.

We will continue praying and thanking God for this beautiful gift. The scan today showed remnants of the bleed. Very little remains. And we are released from the specialist. And will continue with our homebirth plans. 

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

‭‭II Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭NKJV‬

Mothers

 Flashback photo: 6.2.16

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If I’ve learned anything these past 6 years of being a mother, it’s this:

Satan will use anything he can to try and rob us of the joys of motherhood. He hopes we stumble. He wants us to be fearful. He really hopes we become depressed. He would like nothing more than for us to suffer & be at our worst. He wants us to forget about moments like this. Or frankly, he loves it when we are traumatized or robbed of moments. The Moments where we feel strong, and the room is full of love. 

But I am here to remind myself & all of you wonderful mothers out there that, we are more than conquerors. We walk this earth with the same power that rose Jesus from the grave. It’s time we harness that power & use it to benefit us right in our homes; Right where we are in the day in & day out. And I pray we can always remember, when we are weak He is strong. We don’t have to walk around suffering with debilitating burdens & fears. When we hear crippling anxious thoughts, if we arm ourselves with the truth found in God’s word, we can replace those lies with truth. We can bring all of our worries & pain to our Savior & let him carry us.

One of my favorite Psalms is 18, if you haven’t read it in it’s entirety, I dare you to😉. After I read it, I’m reminded of the truth of who God is & how much power we hold by relying on Him:

PSALM 18:1-7

I love you, Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;  my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,  my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise,  and I have been saved from my enemies.

The cords of death entangled me;  the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

The cords of the grave coiled around me;  the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called to the Lord;  I cried to my God for help.

From his temple he heard my voice;  my cry came before him, into his ears.

The earth trembled and quaked,  and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry.

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#homebirth #homesweethomebirth #naturalpregnancy  #midwife #birthwithoutfear #faith #bible #pregnancy #childbirtheducation #motherhoodunplugged #thebirthhour 

Some placenta facts

 Here are some of my personal favorite facts:

THE PLACENTA:

🌳is a multifunctional organ.

—— acting as baby's lungs to supply oxygen, kidneys to filter out waste, & as gastrointestinal & immune systems by delivering nutrients & antibodies.

🌿secretes important hormones during pregnancy.

🌱The combined length of all the capillaries in your placenta is 32 miles.

🌳can provide immunity to the baby long after birth.

🌿is the only Disposable organ

🌱Some women ingest their placenta.

—-most mammals do.

🌳has spiritual significance in some cultures.

🌿Identical twins may or may not share a placenta. {monochorionic, dichorionic}

🌱Both mama & baby’s blood passes through the placenta, but do not mix.

🌳Delayed cord clamping is very important.

—-1/3 of a baby’s blood resides in the placenta.

🌿Babies send cells through the placenta that protect and heal the mother’s organs.

🌱The placenta gives the mother’s immunity to the baby

—-babies are born with double the concentration of blood antibody as their mothers.

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The placenta & it’s creator deserve adoration. This temporary organ brings life to our babies. It nourishes them womb side; Preparing them for life on earth. This organ is miraculous. It’s birth deserves respect. My goal for Ember’s birth was to slow down & marvel in it’s birth; be present & unrushed {barring no complications}. 💛

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What is your favorite fact? .

#40weeks1daypregnant #preggo #babybelly #babynumber3 #love #joy #motherhoodunplugged #momlife  #whynothome #homebirth #holzhauerpartyof5 #pregnancy #pregnant #babybump #bumpdate #homesweethomebirth #midwife #midwifery #naturalpregnancy #instagrammamas #bornathome #birthwithoutfear #birthstory 

No surprises

 3.1.19

If you’ve chosen to follow me, you should know I stand on the fringe. And what I mean by that is, I don’t believe the mainstream way to exist is the only way. The fringe is the edge. It’s the opposite of the collective.

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So it shouldn’t surprise you that I stand where I do on hot button topics. And there is no need to message me and inform me you will be unfollowing. It’s rude. It’s something that is petty. Simply move on and remove me if you can’t handle our differing beliefs.

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I believe we all should have a choice in how we live. We are free to decide where we seek care and with whom, where we give birth, & what we put into our bodies.

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No one should decide what a woman chooses to do in regards to birth. Not anyone. *please don’t come at me with emergent situations* because even then complete and total informed consent should be given to that woman.

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I stand for freedom. That is all. I will not ever stop advocating for birth rights and parental medical rights.

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I implore you to dig deep and reach past what you think you know. Seek out the truth. Follow the money trails and see where they lead. Be prepared to let go of everything you thought was true. Because there is an agenda and it doesn’t have your best interests in mind.

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My love for people reaches past the mean words and rude comments. I love you anyways. God loves you anyways.

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#homebirth #bornathome #educateyourself #parentalrights #medicalfreedom #wherethereisrisktheremustbechoice #speaktruth #loveoneanother #buildyourtribe #findyourtribe #sisters #Christbeforeus #birthwithoutfear #birthnerd #naturalbirth #naturalpregnancy 

Birth Support is important.

Each of our babies have unique and amazing birth stories. You can read about them by clicking the link in my bio.

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The topic of birth is my 2nd favorite next to talking about Jesus & Faith. I’m beyond passionate about advocating for women and their families. I will never stop sharing facts and truths from the rooftops.

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Maternal care in the United States is sub par. So often women are abused, not believed and belittled. Fear is what fuels the system. And it isn’t the way it should be. Women are not given the truth about the interventions & medications the doctors push and when side effects happen that cause a cascade of problems, the women are so glad the doctors saved them. The system lies, the women believe the lies, and more fear surrounds birth.

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Women are amazing & we deserve evidence based care & individualized care plans! Birth is NOT one size fits all. Every woman, deserves to make the right choice for herself & her baby. But that can only be achieved when all the facts are given.

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I want everyone who reads this to understand, this is not written to shame anyone. Nothing I ever write is meant to make anyone feel lousy. I share in hopes that women searching for the truth, can find it. Past choices, those are done. If a woman feels her choices were exactly what she wanted & everything went how she wanted, even if those choices are different than what I would have done, they are not my choices.

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But, the woman who had a negative experience & is now struggling with PTSD from her birth trauma, I want her to be heard & know that what happened because of an intervention or pushy nurse or doctor, should not have happened. I want to stand in the gap & join those women & together we can make a difference.

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I also write & share birth facts because there are women searching for a beautiful birth. I love knowing that through my words, I have helped other women fight for the birth they want.

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Birth brings a baby earthside & it also brings forth a powerful force within a woman. The lioness is in us & she deserves to be free & loved when giving birth.