Oswald Chambers

The “Go” of Renunciation

By Oswald Chambers

…someone said to Him, "Lord, I will follow You wherever You go." —Luke 9:57 

Our Lord’s attitude toward this man was one of severe discouragement, “for He knew what was in man” (John 2:25). We would have said, “I can’t imagine why He lost the opportunity of winning that man! Imagine being so cold to him and turning him away so discouraged!” Never apologize for your Lord. The words of the Lord hurt and offend until there is nothing left to be hurt or offended. Jesus Christ had no tenderness whatsoever toward anything that was ultimately going to ruin a person in his service to God. Our Lord’s answers were not based on some whim or impulsive thought, but on the knowledge of “what was in man.” If the Spirit of God brings to your mind a word of the Lord that hurts you, you can be sure that there is something in you that He wants to hurt to the point of its death.

Luke 9:58. These words destroy the argument of serving Jesus Christ because it is a pleasant thing to do. And the strictness of the rejection that He demands of me allows for nothing to remain in my life but my Lord, myself, and a sense of desperate hope. He says that I must let everyone else come or go, and that I must be guided solely by my relationship to Him. And He says, “…the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”

Luke 9:59. This man did not want to disappoint Jesus, nor did he want to show a lack of respect for his father. We put our sense of loyalty to our relatives ahead of our loyalty to Jesus Christ, forcing Him to take last place. When your loyalties conflict, always obey Jesus Christ whatever the cost.

Luke 9:61. The person who says, “Lord, I will follow You, but…,” is the person who is intensely ready to go, but never goes. This man had reservations about going. The exacting call of Jesus has no room for good-byes; good-byes, as we often use them, are pagan, not Christian, because they divert us from the call. Once the call of God comes to you, start going and never stop.

He's growing up...

As I watch Elijah play at parks this summer, it has hit me how fast a child stops needing help in certain ways. He says "no mom, I can do it by myself" and as a parent you take a step back and watch as they tackle things. It's healthy for them to grow and develop independence. But for myself there's this moment. A moment where I realize, as a mom, that specific task to help my child has ended. He can dress himself, climb up trees and up the rope ladder all by himself. My role is still vital but it changes, I become an encourager more than a helper. All the times I helped him, have lead him to be confident and independent in these areas. What a beautiful and heart wrenching process. Motherhood is all encompassing. I feel tired but also I feel so much joy. One day I feel overwhelmed by how much my baby needs me and I pray for the energy to get through the day. And now, here I sit, with a son who doesn't need me in the same way. That time has gone and I can't get it back. I'll never regret putting everything I have to give into these beautiful souls. This is the greatest calling and achievement of my life. It's above my education and any other earthly title I could ever achieve. And as long as I'm able, I will help them when they need me. // 

Assuming hurts

It's easy to forget that over the Internet, people don't actually know me. And I don't know them. They don't know how I live my every day life. They don't know that I have a generous heart and often give even when I'm exhausted. Or that I love being a friend and I go into friendships with everything I have. I pretty much do that with everything in my life. I don't want to ever do something half as good as I could. And sometimes I say more than I should when I'm passionate. I'm protective over the people I love. On social media, we have to take one another at our words typed out. And I've found the more we communicate online, the less we trust people. We try and read between the lines. We look for motives that aren't there. Or we simply don't believe what people say. We even put words into their mouths or assume things on people that aren't there. All because we are communicating without looking one another in the face. I'm guilty of it and it's a terrible feeling when people assume you have bad intentions. The following lyrics from "This is just so Beautiful" by Jenny and Tyler, were very comforting today. // I felt forgiveness in the deep recesses of my soul. I was so empty. And now I'm full. I'm whole. The world is cold and so very very cruel. But the sparrow in the roses reminds me there's still so much good. Yesterday is gone, today I can see. Oh today I believe. ✝️ // Matthew 10:31 // #instagramatemyblog #jennyandtyler

Rep World Info

Okay so here goes:

My take on this rep world.

The brand repping world is a fun place. But when I joined it as a shop and novice photographer, I also felt like it had these rules in place. Some were unwritten and some were brought about because of the way shops do things. And it was assumed every shop was the same as far as their team. 

And there isn't always total transparency between shops and rep teams. As a team member we don't always know how big a shops team is, if they don't use fb. And then that shop requires monthly purchases. So a large part of their sales are from required purchases. It feels like the system is rigged in that regard. I've been working at trying to find a way in which everything works smoothly for me and my team. But it doesn't fit the normal guidelines; what everyone is used to within this rep world. 

Facebook groups help so much to open lines of communication between everyone. 

At first I just joined the system as it was. Labeled my team members, reps and enthusiasts. And then shortly after, came the title brand fans. So essentially every team has 3 levels. And I felt it left my own team disjointed vs naturally finding a rhythm. If that makes sense, it does in my head. 

And yes, some people have nice cameras, photog experience, more money, more time, etc. So they can get great photos and they are trustworthy. And within teams it's often known who the favorites are, and that bothered me.

Now I'm not saying this because I think it's bad that teams are run this way. But it is intimidating for those just starting or new to a team. It's just not how I wanted my team to be. It's not how I view people, everyone is special. Everyone can learn new skills and become better. And they can only do that if they are connected with other repping mamas. 

So, I don't have those three labels - Reps, Enthusiasts or fans - anymore. 

If your new to my team you're a "Bella Rookie" if you choose to stay on for a second term, you become part of the OG Team, a fun label brought to us by @the.emilybrown

And then, I have a core group of my girls who have said they are never leaving me, Bella Ambassadors/#OGforlife #bellasforlife. And as other Bellas tell me they are with me forever -- they've been not only great for my shop but as friends/supporters to me and other team members, I will offer them a chance to be ambassadors also.

Some have found my team to not be what they want and that is okay. But I do my best to make it a fun, loving and friendly environment for all. 

IF YOURE STILL WITH ME- AWESOME!

FREEBIES??? 

Purchase requirements? 

The topic of freebies and purchase requirements is one that comes up a lot. Who deserves freebies? Who doesn't? 

Should I require my team to purchase? It guarantees our shop business, but it isn't organic.

I have decided one purchase requirement for the term is fair. And I don't care when it's made, beginning or end. And it frees everyone up to decide how invested they want to be in my brand. No one is forcing them to shop. And I find it helps take off a sort of pressure that can come with repping. 

Since we are just a bow shop with fair prices, that could mean a simple $5 purchase. It's affordable. And it leaves my Bella Team free to make their purchase when they want to. They can wait for bows they love since our inventory changes often. And we are always releasing new things. Or they can purchase one from each different release. 

If we were clothing or when we grow and add clothing, I may take that purchase requirement away. And do pre orders or other things. But that's future plans. And I'll tackle that when we are there. 

So for now, I came up with a points system, and this is the first term I've been using it and it's working well so far. 

Each person is responsible for earning points and posting their screenshots in our fb group. 

I set up a photo album with each Bellas photo. They then comment their screenshots on their photo. And it helps me keep a record of freebies earned. 

I also fill out a google doc to help myself see the points earned all in one place.

Every 15 points is a freebie, and this may change as I see how the system works out. 

So much of this small shop game is trial and error. 

Advertising is important and so are photos taken of products.

The freebie system makes it even. And it also creates a fun place for my Bellas to get creative in ways they can earn points. And it all benefits our shop in different ways.

When I didn't know better I did give out freebies and I didn't get photos back from everyone. I no longer give free things to reps I don't already know. 

If I give freebies out and have to cover shipping costs and then I don't get photos back, it's too big of a loss. A loss of time I can't get back and money also. And it's discouraging. This way, everyone gets a chance to earn freebies. 

I also offer them the option to pay for shipping and I'll send their freebies to them if they don't want to purchase from the shop. So far everyone has purchased and then I throw in their freebies earned. 

And once I know a mama is true to her word, more freebies happen if I need help with photos. 

Okay that's everything for now. 

I may add to this later. 

Stacklay Tutorial #1

HI EVERYONE!
I have been asked a lot over the last several months
"how do you make those amazing stacks"?
"What's your secret to stacklays"??

So I really want to give you all a quick tutorial. I will be doing my best to make several tutorials about stacklays and also one for flatlays.
They both really excentuate small shop items and it is a great way to advertise products.
It has also been a lovely artistic outlet for myself.
As a mother with two young children, let's face it, I can't paint or draw these days. Usually, I have a baby crawling around me while I make these and I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

Alright, if you're still with me, scroll on down...
The photos will be in order of how I put the stack together!

Feel free to contact me on Instagram (@mamaholzhauer + @che.bella.bows)

Okay, so first things first, pick the items you want to use for your STACK!
I usually think, okay what do I want River and/or Elijah to wear for their rep photos and then I go from there.
This particular set up is quite simple, because I really want to focus on the gorgeous sparkle bow as the focal point of the photos. 

After taking the first flat lay photo I realized I needed a teether or an accessory to tie it all together.
This donut teether I made last week has the right colors and it doesn't take over and overshadow the bow I need to photograph.

Sometimes, I use cardboard or blocks to prop of the clothing otherwise the clothes lay too flat and don't create the photo that I want.

This time it worked to just use one block to stabilize the stack. 

The block is in place. And it is almost ready to tuck the sides under...

Here is the little dress all folded and tucked in nicely.
One of the secrets of making the perfect stack: what's going on in the back doesn't matter

Now we add the bow.

(((((This bow is from @ellebellebaby on Instagram and Etsy!
Use code
FRIENDOFEBB
at checkout on Etsy for a discount and mention River sent you)))))

Now we add the shoes and make sure they are balanced and also holding the bow in place so it doesn't slide down unless I want it to. 

Next, I carefully balance the teether on the shoes.

The most important thing to remember is the base of the stack makes the stack!

If the base is crooked or lumpy and unstable, the stack will fall down. 

Now for the fun part!! 

I would not be able to do this if I didn't rest my elbow on my knee.
It's far too difficult to keep still to get the clear shot. 

My husband took these fun shots!  

Trying to snap the perfect photo!  

The angle of this photo ^ Makes it look like I am not holding the book level, but I am..

I usually take 16-20 photos and pick the best one.
Can you guess which one that is from this photo?

I pay close attention to the tiniest of details

LEFT PHOTO:
 The edges of the bow are overlapping over the shoes. I don't like that. I like the edges to be clear and free. Especially when it is the focal point of the stack.
Also the shoes needed to move over just a tiny bit to the right.
And I shifted the camera over a little to give a slightly better angle.

RIGHT PHOTO:

If you compare it to the photo on the left, it is just slightly different. But for me, it's the tiny details that drastically improve my stacks!
I moved the bow down just a tiny bit and adjusted the shoes and the teether.

I also like there to be as few gaps or spaces as possible between items, like the shoes and teether. I try to squish them as close together as I can. Sometimes, light/the wall shining through cannot be helped. But I try to minimize the spaces.
 I also edited the right photo.
I use the UNUM app
I can plan out my Instagram posts but also edit each photo within the app.

For this photo--

I upped the exposure by 6
Lessened the warmth by 13
upped the highlights by 14
brightened the photo by 15
and upped the saturation by 12

Most of my stacklay editing is similar. Lowering the warmth helps the photo appear whiter and more crisp in color vs a warmer tone, which turns whites to appear a cream/tan color.

I hope these explanations help you out.

Feel free to email me
Che.bella.bows@gmail.com
anytime with questions

Or find me on Instagram and send me a message! I love to help others perfect their photography skills!

HERE IT IS!
The finished stack!!! I love it! It's a very simple little stack, But sometimes, those are the best kinds!


Here's River in the outfit that goes with this stack!! MY amazing photographer took this

HMD - Photos Mankato

HMD PHOTOS

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@MAMAHOLZHAUER
+
@CHE.BELLA.BOWS

FOR MORE STACKS AND FUN PHOTOS!

Today

This is a long one. But Ive been compiling this for a while. And I felt I needed to share it today. So here goes. 

I realized as I am up at 5 am nursing my sweet baby girl, just how much life has changed in one year. Last year, today we didn't know who she was, we only knew that a new life was forming in my womb. And then, to think back on the last 8 years of my life, truly brings me to tears; happy tears.

The cliche saying about how a lot can change in one year, is true. With each passing year, so many things change. Most of them for the better which I am thankful for and doing my best to not take it all for granted. 

I spent a decent portion of my youth, angry. Mad at the world, mad at God, mad at people, mad at myself and frankly, just plain angry most of the time. And that deep seeded anger lead to MANY mistakes. It lead to alcohol abuse, which lead to bad decisions, (cigarette smoking & marijuana smoking), broken hearts and wasted years. And even then, when I was at my worst, God brought me good friends to lean on and to help me survive. When I look back, I wasn't even really aware of what I was angry about. I just lived on the surface of my life. It was a very reactionary existence. 

But, in the last 8 years, I studied and searched & I found the root causes for a lot of my inner turmoil. There's no need to hash that all out on social media. But the greatest thing, is that I feel free in my life these days. Free to love and give of myself. Free to talk about my faith and my love for Christ with whom ever, whenever for whatever reason. I feel peace about the future and about my past. 

God has helped me see, that life is a journey. The broken roads we've all been down, are what make our salvation messages unique and powerful. We can each tell our story. 

Our stories that might involve pain, failure, defeat, depression, anxiety, confusion, doubt, anger, addiction, and death, also contain healing, success, joy, strength, clarity, peace, freedom, endurance, sacrifice, courage, humility, life and LOVE. There's more but those are all things I've encountered. For each negative time, feeling or experience, God has brought me to the opposite place, to the place where love resides. 

It started before I met my husband. I really wanted to change my life. And I knew the answer, because my mom had taught me the truth and lived her faith in Christ in front of us. I knew the way to change and the answers to my life were found in Jesus. I had just been running so far and so fast in the opposite direction. 

Well in 2009, I saved up the cash and took a trip to Florida to see my grandparents. I quit smoking cold turkey. I worked out and sweat out all the yuck in my body. I chugged water and ate healthy. I prayed and I sought answers and found them. I began to dream again. I knew I wanted to finish college, I wanted to be married and one day be a mother. 3 months later I met Kaleb. 

That's a different story for a different day. But in a nutshell, God moved mountains for us; literal and figurative mountains. He took both of our broken roads and had them intersect at just the exact right moment. People call it fate and others say coincidence. But I say, God. It was God. There were just too many moving pieces for it to be a chance encounter.

Now, fast forward 7 ½ years. I have 2 college degrees and here we are walking beside one another as spouses, friends and parents. It's not easy and it has brought us to knew depths as a couple and as individuals. But it's a beautiful life. Kaleb works hard outside of the home and I work hard inside our home. We aren't perfect and conflict arises. But at the end of the day, we are a team. With Gods help, we find a balance in it all. 

We've also been entrusted with these beautiful, special tiny humans. I lay here, with my daughter snuggled in close. She's breathing ever so slightly. Right now, I am her whole world. Well, almost, she really does enjoy her daddy and the dogs. But above everyone else, she chooses me. ME. This imperfect, person who has hurt others and made mistakes. She chooses me. She leaps into my arms and trusts I will catch her. If she wakes up alone, she cries until she sees me. If she wakes up and I'm near her, she smiles and snuggles into my bosom. This experience as her mother is far different than things were with Elijah. He didn't need me in the same way. Yes, he loved to nurse but he didn't choose me above everyone else. He loved everyone he encountered. And he still does. If they were smiling or wanted to hold him he was into it. And he will be your friend for life. But River, it's a completely different experience. It's exhausted me to no end and stretched me as a mother. This tiny little girl has shown me a new depth into my relationship with Jesus. We are to look to him just as my daughter looks to me. I am the only one who can meet her needs. No one else. I AM the one. Thinking about that sentence, "I AM" lead me to look up all the different names associated with God and compare them to their original Hebrew meanings. Because God is referred to as "I AM" in the Bible. 

And my mom and I have discussed this topic in the past and recently. {{{{SIDE NOTE: Which is cool, because this whole short novel I've written here has been in the works in my minds eye for a while. But my mom didn't know that when we discussed Gods names.}}}

Anyone who has studied other languages, knows that the rabbit hole is deep and there's a ton of information out there. 

So here is what I found in a nutshell:

The name that stuck out to me most of all is El Shaddai (shad-dye). 

•Shad - meaning breast or breasts. It signifies one who nourishes, supplies and satisfies. 

•Dai - means shed forth or pours out. Which suggests provision, sustenance and blessing. 

Words in Hebrew are intensified by the word El. 

So El Shaddai is our All Abundant Sustainer. 

Just as our sweet daughter, needs me for nutrition and sustenance to physically grow, she also needs the comfort of my arms and bosom to emotionally sustain her. 

When I think of this in depth and in relation to God, it's overwhelming for my heart. This job I'm doing, raising my babies, is about more than this moment. It's about more than being tired. It's about more than existing on the surface of life. It's about more than how things look on the outside. It's about diving in with every fiber of my being. It's about realizing that these two precious little children need to be shown Gods love through me. And right now, while they are small, that means gathering them close and demonstrating that I'm always here for them. Just as God is right here for all of us, I'll be right here for them. They come first after my husband. And their needs are important even if that need is a 2 am nursing snack, and then another at 5 am, that's my job. That is my calling, for this time and place. 

I recognize that it's about more than this moment. It's about loving them into adulthood. It's about more than food and it's about more than sleep or the lack of sleep. Being a mother is about more for me. It's about love in its deepest form. The love that is born from sacrifice. The biggest love of all, is setting yourself aside for the betterment of another person. 

I want to look back and have zero regrets about how I acted as a mother. Grace helps in the moments I struggle or fall flat on my face. Gods grace is here to fill in the gaps of my humanity. It's here to remind me that perfection isn't the goal. Dedication, devotion and persistence are more important. And Love is the goal. Gods grace keeps me humble and reminds me that every morning we can get up and be better than yesterday. 

And now Elijah is almost 4, I know breastfeeding ends. The moments are so fleeting and all of a sudden they don't need the breast. They grow past that facet and our relationship changes; Just as our relationship with Christ changes. There are new needs and different ways in which I as a mother must adapt and also grow. 

As this year is coming to an end, all I can do is sit here and be thankful. My heart is so full and my soul feels glad. I spent so much time being wasted and upset and living a selfish existence. This new life I lead has brought a level of peace to my heart that is hard to put into words. There's no guilt or shame or doubts about where I am. All that anger has dissipated. Jesus has grounded me and planted my feet on a rock. I feel secure in Christ and also in my marriage. I'm more tired than I've ever been in my life. But I also have more joy than I've ever experienced. And when I need rest, the moments happen and I seize them. 

I want everyone to know they can find a peace that sustains them and an overflowing joy in our Savior. It's real and it's an untethered, unbridled love that never ceases. 

If you stuck with me and read this entire thing, thank you. This is my heart and soul out here for all to read. 

No matter your struggle, let Jesus meet you on your broken road. And turn that broken road into a mended one.

 I'm here if you ever want a listening ear or need prayer!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Happy World Breastfeeding week!!

“But You are He who took Me out of the womb; You made Me trust while on My mother’s breasts. I was cast upon You from birth. From My mother’s womb You have been My God.”

Psalms 22:9-10 

The photo of a baby breastfeeding and flowers blooming is circulating on my Facebook. And it's so fitting! This is how I see it. A baby is nourished from their mothers breast and copious amounts of positive things happen for the child's physical and mental health! From that mysterious milk concoction, a baby develops and grows. It positively cultivates their intestinal health. It brings them joy and relaxation from the cannabinoids. Breastmilk has antibacterial properties. It can help heal and moisturizer  their skin. A mothers milk can cure eye infections and can help heal skin ailments (psoriasis etc). Breastfeeding teaches a baby patience as they wait for the milk to let down. Breastfeeding gives a child his/her first hard work, it's not an easy task to nurse! I have watched both of my babies as their jaw and cheek muscles work vigorously to bring the milk to their mouths. That's why at the beginning babies take time to learn to effectively nurse, the muscles have to develop. 

As they grow older, they learn more patience because sometimes they have to wait for their milk meal until the car stops, mama is done eating, showering, cooking, parenting big brother (in Rivers case) or cleaning up a mess. There's an abundant amount of cuddling that happens during a breastfeeding journey, it's fleeting and beautiful! 

Some babies want to nurse and fall asleep and they need that connection to find dreamland. That's how Elijah was. Some babies will nurse until satisfied, let go and then they want to snuggle to sleep. Other babies want some combination of things above. River tends to nurse until full and then find sleep about 10-30 mins later while being rocked or held. She's a snuggle baby. And it's wonderful to give her what she needs! 

Happy Breastfeeding week! // #worldbreastfeedingweek