3.1.19
The day my midwife said was my due date. The day after my app said I was 40 weeks.
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I woke up to a very light contraction at 6:30am March 1st. And I thought, today’s the day. I told Kaleb what I was feeling and told him to go to work and I’d let him know if things picked up. And then I just laid back down and tried to sleep until the kids got up for the day. I let my midwife know what was happening. And I did sleep for another hour and then the kids were up. At that time, I let my mom, my friends Amy, Rachel & Karilynn and our photographer know what was happening.
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It was snowing and I was nervous that people wouldn’t be able to make it in time if they didn’t leave early. The roads were terrible.
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My mom and two friends were 2 hours away with the road conditions. So they left around 11am.
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The midwives were planning on leaving at 12pm and arriving around 1pm.
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Around 11am my contractions were very minimal and sporadic. 3-8 mins apart and I could chit chat through them. And didn’t really need to breath or focus through any of them. My water hadn’t broken in a pop type way. But with every surge I was filling a mama cloth pad. So I just decided to put a big kitchen towel in my pants. So in some photos you’ll see it making my butt all lumpy looking. But it helped keep me dry.
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In the mean time, I was scrambling to find a photographer. Because the roads were so awful that our photographer couldn’t make it the 70 miles to our place.
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I reached out to our neighbor because I thought she might know someone close by who could help us out. I was praying like crazy. It may not seem like a huge miracle, but by the grace of God, there’s a lovely lady that lives a few miles away. And she was available to come over and capture the birth. I was so beyond relieved. What a cool experience! I kept thinking it’s such a unique way to meet someone - “Hi! Nice to meet you, thanks for photographing my baby’s homebirth”. -
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My friends Karilynn and Rachel arrived around 12:30 or 1. I was snacking on a sub sandwich and just relaxing and walking around the house. Cleaning up a little and just getting everything set up.
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My midwives arrived and my labor was not very intense. So they decided to run to the town 30 miles away and get a hotel. That was around 1pm or so. Maybe a little later.
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I labored very calmly for the next 2 hours. And then around 3pm, the contractions intensified A LOT. It was like one minute the contractions were easy peasy. Then the next one was a doozy and they just kept getting intense. But they were still 4-6 minutes apart. But several of them were quite long. They felt never ending. Close to 2 minutes long. And they may have doubled up. But I couldn’t really tell. I needed Kaleb to apply counter pressure through each surge, and we started to fill the pool because I knew I’d want to get in very soon. K & R helped me through contractions when Kaleb was busy with the pool. I felt so well cared for. It was so beautiful!
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It was around 4:30 I think, when we told the midwives they better get back here. And they were already on their way back. I really wanted to get in the water. But we were waiting until the midwives arrives because things usually pick up once I get in the warm water and I can relax my pelvic muscles.
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Having water leaking changed how labor felt, my waters stayed intact with my other two labors until near the end. There was less buoyancy this time. And that’s another reason I wanted to get in the water. It really helps alleviate some of that pressure.
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Funniest part of the day: our midwives went in the ditch at the end of our driveway. Thank you, winter snowy roads. So they had to trudge up the driveway and yard to our house.
And then at some point, our awesome neighbor came and helped pull their car out.
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Once they got in, I got right in the birth pool. I really needed the relief. I was getting desperate for that water. My contractions were starting to overwhelm me on dry land Thank God, for hot water, it alleviates the sensations just enough to be tolerable. Kaleb joined me in the water. And he pushed hard on my back. That is always such a huge help. It adds pressure in the back and alleviates how intense my front contractions feel.
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I don’t remember how many contractions I had in the pool but I labored in the water for 40 minutes or so. And then I felt the baby move down and I knew it was almost time. My body began to bare down all on its own.
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My mom was upstairs with River. Elijah was watching me in the tub. It was so sweet to hear him asking questions and so interested. At one point he gave Kaleb advice about where to put his hands on my back. He said “dad why don’t you just leave your hands there”? Kaleb has been letting go between contractions. And Elijah thought he should keep his hands on my back. Such a caring moment. He had asked a few weeks prior if he could watch so I showed him photos and appropriate videos to give him an idea about what might happen and what sounds I might make. And he said he was excited and ready to watch the baby be born. It meant a lot to him and I really wanted him to be a part of the excitement.
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Alright so back to the birth:
My body was starting to experience the Fetal Ejection Reflex (FER). I was on all fours leaning over the edge of the pool. I love laboring this way. FER is such a crazy feeling. It’s a very out of body experience. My body just takes over and I just have to relax, breath and let it happen.
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My friend Karilynn helped me through contractions also. And I was so thankful for the support. I loved hearing their encouragement.
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I felt the baby move down. Which I don’t remember feeling with the other two.And so we told my mom if she wanted to see she better come downstairs. My friend Rachel took her place with River.
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The very end of birth overwhelmed me with River and the same thing started to happen this time. I feel sort of scared or nervous for the intense feeling of the baby exiting my body. I need help to relax and breath. And I just need to be told I can do it. My midwife started to read my birth affirmations.
I specifically remember her saying “this baby will come out of my vagina” it was so helpful to hear all of the positivity. I could picture each affirmation card I had made as she read them.
When my mom came over to the pool, I really wanted to hold onto someone. So my mom stood in front of me and I held onto her waste. My mom thought there was still a ways to go. And that I needed to stay calm and breath. But the next two contractions the baby’s head was coming down the birth canal. I heard Elijah say “is that poop”? And the midwife and Kaleb reassured him that it was and it was okay.
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And then the third one— the contraction and baby crowning was so intense — I wasn’t capable of voicing anything at that moment. I grabbed her and she said breath Jenni and I said no no no and just made sounds. “gahhhhhh” “grrrrrr” “ahhhhhhh” and the baby’s head was out. “I heard Elijah say “Oh I see the baby’s cute little face!” I’ll have to watch the video to hear everything else he said.
And then I was able to explain and I said, I wasn’t out of control the baby is coming. And my mom said, oh oh okay! Here we go! And I relaxed my arms and focused on relaxing my bottom and waited for the last contraction. And Kaleb was behind me. His job was to catch the baby and push him/her through my legs so I could grab the baby and then lean back on Kaleb.
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And with that last contraction, the baby was born. Kaleb grabbed the baby and then pushed him/her through my legs. And I grabbed the baby and leaned back onto Kaleb. That moment of relief is always so amazing!! There’s nothing quite like it.
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Everyone said, what do we have. And we looked and there she was
Ember Lydia
6:05pm
6lbs 14oz
2 ounces smaller than my 2 previous babies.
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She was so calm. She didn’t cry she just started breathing and pinked right up. She had great scores. We’ve been calling her tiny but mighty.
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I knew right away she was much smaller than my other babies. I was just so amazed at how perfect and tiny she was.
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Rachel brought River down and she was apprehensive at first but Elijah grabbed her hand and brought her over to the pool to see her new sister. It was seriously so beautiful to watch. In that moment, something changed. Elijah grew up right before my eyes in this really cool way. He took his place as the older brother of two sisters. And River looked to him to help her.
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My goal for this labor and delivery was to be slow and present in the moment. To not rush through any of it. To just relax in the water with Kaleb and the baby. I didn’t want to be in such a hurry to get the placenta out. I feel like I was in a hurry with the other two births. I wanted to change that this time. And that’s just what we did. We didn’t rush. We just soaked up the moments. Ember latched on to nurse. I relaxed and waited for the contractions to push the placenta out. I’m not sure how long we waited but it was a while. Everyone stood around and just admired the moment.
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And then the placenta was making its way down and out. Two pushes and it was done.
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We snapped some photos and made our way over to the couch. To get comfortable so we could set up the cord burning. I was very excited for that! Ember stayed snuggled on my chest nursing and it took about 8 minutes to burn the cord. The kids were very excited to hold the candles. I love that they helped and it was so special to have them be a part of the process. Ember joining our family felt so natural.
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I’m so very thankful for thoughtful care providers and the amazing support system that rallied around us. When I look back it was such a picture of LOVE. God’s beautiful design for procreation and family and life. Finding your tribe and loving them with the biggest love is so important.
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A woman can be strong, educated and fully prepared. But there is usually a moment of weakness that happens towards the end of labor. And during that moment, this mama just needs to be reminded of what she’s capable of and supported. And as the love is poured out upon the woman, the fear melts away.
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There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has to do with punishment. He that fears is not made perfect in love.
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“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
John 13:34
