To my Mother in Law

I made a list of all the things I want to thank you for and I wanted to have it typed up and ready for Mother's Day.

Many of these things are in relation to the man you raised who is my husband. 

THANK YOU, for, being the kind of mother who let's her children explore and get dirty. Kaleb is not afraid of dirt and the outdoors. It's quite the opposite. He loves being outside and he will pass that onto our children. 

THANK YOU, for, developing his food palette. What I mean by this is, Kaleb is the least picky eater I have ever known. He eats everything and loves it all! That is rare. And I know it's partly because of your cooking and also because you didn't allow him to be picky. "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit" ;) 

THANK YOU, for, being supportive even when the decisions Kaleb made took him further away from you. Because you supported him when he played sports as a child it lead him to become a man who can take risks and chances. He is confident and secure. You supported him even when he decided to move to Minnesota to be with me. I can never fully express my gratitude. Your son is far away from you and your family and that isn't easy. But you haven't ever made him feel bad for his choice to be here with me. And I am eternally grateful because K has changed my life and I am a better person for knowing him. 

THANK YOU, for, all of the baby clothing for E! While I was pregnant it was so fun to get packages in the mail! And E wore the clothes and shoes all the time! He is still wearing the things he hasn't grown out of! 

THANK YOU, for, sending us cute cards! They make our days brighter; Especially in the winter time! 

THANK YOU, for, entrusting me with your friendship. And for being open and honest and truthful. I truly feel like our last trip to visit we were really able to get to know each other's hearts. And I know we will continue to build on our relationship. I have nothing but hope for the future! 

THANK YOU, for, being accepting of my love for God. And respecting how important Jesus is to me and to our family. It makes all the difference. K would not be the man of God that he is today if he didn't have your support. 

THANK YOU, for, shopping with me and garage saling with me. They are beautiful lasting memories I will always cherish! 

THANK YOU, for, teaching Kaleb to think for himself and to stand up for what is important! And he is always ready to stand up for us if he needs to! 

THANK YOU, for, teaching Kaleb to be kind to others. He leads and guides our family with such grace and humility and patience. Cause let's face it, I can be difficult. Well, anyone can be, I suppose. :) 

THANK YOU, for, loving Kaleb and filling his love tank as a child. Together you and Tom raised a man who isn't afraid to love. And isn't afraid of his feelings. And that's because he was loves in your home growing up. And now he is able to have an example of love to show to me and E & to others he encounters. 

THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart! 

I love you! 

Today's thoughts on friendship

Do you ever have those days where past hurts creep back in?
A day where Something reminds you of an old friendship?
A day where the Memories are hard to shake? You can do your best to stuff them down. Do your best to forget all the fun times, all the I love yous, all the BFF moments, all the hang outs, all the late night driving sessions venting about men, all the future planning, all the phone calls, all the movies we watched, all the paper letters we wrote, all the prayers we prayed, the times we went to church together, all the late nights, all the dinner dates, all the sleep overs and all the talks.
 But somedays it is hard.
Hard to shake.
These days I pray.
I pray for you.
I pray that you find comfort even though this has been a painful year for you.
I pray that God is near to you as you plan your wedding. As it approaches I pray that you see the Lord in all of the little miracles that happen.
I pray for you.

Feelings creep back in and You wonder how a person could be a friend for so long and then just decide you don't matter at all. 

Facebook doesn't help either because you see too much of a person's life. Before Facebook when friendships ended you never saw that person again. But now it isn't that way. I contemplate unfriending but that would be hurtful to the other person. But then I wonder why I care considering my feelings were crushed for no good reason. 

No

Good

Reason 

Today was one of those days for me. Where everything reminds me of an ex-friend. Not an ex-boyfriend but an ex-best friend. Someone you thought was going to be a lifelong friend. The kind of friend where you have them in your wedding and you are in theirs. 

I cried today thinking about things. 

Whenever I have one of these days, I give the sad negative feelings to God (metaphorically lay them at the foot of the cross) and I pray for peace and love to fill the spaces where the sad feelings were residing. 

I will continue doing this for as long as I need. 

I am thankful that the hurt days are fewer and farther apart. 

And I am thankful that God is faithful and loves me even when other people blatantly disregard my feelings. 

I also pray that I don't stop being friends with people that haven't done anything to me. I mean, I would understand if I had done something to deserve to be cut out of someone's life. But I didn't. What I did do was choose Jesus instead of alcohol. I chose Jesus over the party. I chose Jesus over sin. And my friend decided that the world was far far more important than our friendship. That is the hard part. Sitting back and watching as someone chooses the world instead of me.
I never meant to make my friend feel guilty by choosing to leave the worldly life behind. But that is what happened when I was open and honest and said I was no longer able to stand by and watch as she sins openly and in public.
I felt guilty enough that I had wasted so much time at bars and at parties.
That is the risk we take when we decide that JESUS is more important than the party. 

Ok. It's late and I've run out of the ability to make good and proper sentences. 

Goodnight & God Bless! 💜

Thank you, Mom!

I've been thinking about all the things my mother has done for me and my siblings. And I thought I would make a list of as many of those things as I could.

THANK YOU, for, putting us first. 

THANK YOU, for, sacrificing so Kiah and I could attend Faith Christian School. 

THANK YOU, for, homeschooling us. It gave me a working knowledge. We didn't have to worry about tests or grades. It was about the learning. And it created a fire within me to always seek to learn new things. I am so thankful to have been educated at home. I was able to choose what I wanted to learn. It made me excited about knowledge.  

THANK YOU, for, making us matching outfits. We always looked so cute. You made sure our clothing wasn't awkward or weird. 

THANK YOU, for, taking so many photos of our childhood. I have so many photos to look back on and enjoy. I don't have to wonder what I looked like as a baby, toddler, child, tween or teenager. 

THANK YOU, for, listening. We could always come to you with our problems and vent. And we still can. 

THANK YOU, for, controlling our food intake and cooking amazing meals. And keeping us healthy. You set rules in place and we didn't dare disobey. And we always asked mommy first for treats. It taught us self control and discipline. And now we know how to be healthy and not over indulge. 

THANK YOU, for, letting me pick my toothbrush and toothpaste. It is the little things we could control that helped us gain confidence and have us the security to make choices. And also to not feel too controlled. Positive choices and affirming those choices goes a long way. 

THANK YOU, for, setting everything up for deiver's ed. And then helping me get my deiver's license. And even when I failed the first time, thank you for staying positive. 2nd times the charm! 

THANK YOU, for, making me take keyboarding in high school even though I fought you tooth and nail, verbally. I was so rude and you just stuck to your guns. And now I have a lasting skill that helped me greatly to obtain two college degrees! 

THANK YOU, for, bringing us to Burger King every Tuesday in SC. I have such beautiful memories of those times. And plenty of the plastic toys to prove it! Gotta love Kids meals! 

THANK YOU, for, planning amazingly fun birthday parties for each one of us EVERY year! Not until I was older did I learn that other kids don't get birthday parties for each year! I assumed they did. And once I learned they didn't I felt even more blessed! 

THANK YOU, for, reading to is for hours and hours. I have coloring books all colored in to remind me of how many hours we spent listening to you read, Elsie Dinsmore and Narnia. I can't wait for the day I can read to my children! 💙

THANK YOU, for, bringing us to church all by yourself. Now that I have Elijah, I can't imagine how you did it all. It's hard enough with one child! 

THANK YOU, for, caring to make it possible for me to get baptized at Faith Assembly  in South Carolina. 

 THANK YOU, for, teaching is the truth about life. Because you taught us about Jesus and God and the Bible we have a foundation. And a view of life theough the lens of truth. It has helped me to be counter cultural, to question the world's ideas. And above all, to know that I am loved. 

THANK YOU, for, teaching us to think for ourselves. Because you taught us the truth. It gave me the ability to really think about situations! And to see reality in spite of how things appear on the outside. 

THANK YOU, for, letting me find my own way. And for trusting God with my future. It must have been scary. But you trusted God's word. 

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:10-11

2013

 

I am friends with my sisters because you cultivated the love between us. You didn't force me, as the oldest to care for my siblings. I never felt forced to protect them or mother them. Because you were always around to do that. 

THANK YOU, MOM. 

I AM WHO I AM TODAY BECAUSE OF THE TIME YOU SPENT WITH ME AS A CHILD
I LOVE YOU!