The ONE thing

 I will never stop asking this. When is the magical unicorn day this mass hysteria stops? 

15 days turned into 30 that now turned into almost 6 months of constant lies & manipulation.  

Do people not see that the haters of America have found the ONE thing that people are willing to roll with to lose freedoms?? They’ve been looking for that THING since America was founded. 

This is it. Anyone dissenting is called selfish because this is about safety.  They found the ONE thing that cancelled EASTER Ecclesia for almost everyone. They found the thing to start attacking the CHURCH! And they are doing it right out in the open. And most people are okay with it because it’s about safety. Think about it, many states are dictating how many people can attend church! In America, not everyone can attend church that wants to and that is despicable.

And for some reason because it’s about health, no one sees that it’s the same exact tactics as any other slow take over/fade into communism. Because they’ve manipulated the masses with “forced” well visits and false medical doctrine for decades. They have slowly made Americans believe that doctors are all FOR you & your health. All Doctors know more than other people about health. They have ALL the answers. It is a religion. And any doctor who has ideas that differ from the collective, is silenced  

Health Experts would never walk into the Oval Office and LIE about numbers and death in order to change America fundamentally! Oh no they are all caring and full of heart and love for all life and they don’t have any agendas. They’d never try and gain more power or help their friends. Oh no. They wouldn’t follow their own political ideologies ABOVE the well being of millions of Americans. They wouldn’t force mass shutdowns and ignore the suicides, substance abuse and depression. They wouldn’t stand in front of the American people and spit lies in order to get their power and money back to their elite friends. People don’t like power or control right? And people definitely don’t work together to take over countries and control the masses, right? 

Do you love America for giving us our God given rights? There’s no where else we can have them.

Also, have you ever heard the stories of Christians in other countries meeting even when it’s illegal? Have you been proud of those Christians for doing what is right? If you have, this is the same exact situation. But remember they found the ONE thing that most people can get behind because of their ingrained, medical belief system/doctrine.

Do you watch the stories of immigrants who fled COMMUNISM and feel anything? Feel moved or start weeping? Because I do. Maximo Alvarez said it best “there’s no where else to go”. Imagine the PTSD this is triggering in any immigrant who actually watched their country erode into communism. 

My Nonna as a young girl fled with Nuns to North Africa to escape the Nazi’s in Italy. She watched her brother lose his life by stepping on a bomb. She always says, when she hears a politician speak about redistributing wealth or higher taxes or welfare etc, and says, “that’s communist. They want control.”

Just because this isn’t about removing a people group from their homes and carting them off, this is the SAME beginning threats. Think about what is happening and really play it out in your mind. They have task forces to check for mask dissenters. But again, because it’s about safety and health, people refuse to see the signs. 

Please please Go learn about how the other countries changed. And please learn the difference between a Constitutional Republic & a Democracy. Because I sure as heck don’t want to live in a democracy - which is one step closer to socialism/communism.

We are either free or we are not. And I choose freedom. A freedom given to us by God that others died to protect. Imagine what they would say if they knew we CLOSED our churches! Imagine what they’d say if they saw us ignoring the communism that is creeping in. Imagine what they’d say if they saw people so divided over this topic of FREEDOM. 

NOW IS WHEN WE STAND. 

IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?

Newborn life is easy. *gasp* Did she just say what I think she did?

Proverbs 31:25-30

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” ...

When you're pregnant people tell you, enjoy sleep while you can. I don't say that to pregnant women. You know why? Because being the mother of a newborn is easy. Yup, I said it. (keep reading to understand my point) It's a walk in the park with a cool breeze and a sweet tea in hand. Sleeping when the baby sleeps was phenomenal. Cosleeping, nursing round the clock, and endless snuggles was bliss. Sure there were lots of diaper changes and blowouts. The baby might cry or need some special attention. They may be colicky. 

As the mother, you may have to give up some things to create a solid nursing relationship. I had to give up dairy. I do not drink caffeine, haven't since 2009. I had to give up citrus, garlic, onions, peppers, pretty much every spice, salt, refined sugars and tomatoes. And I'm probably forgetting some things. But it was all worth it. And it wasn't hard. It was necessary. 

We create these children by having sex do we not? Is it their fault they exist? No. They didn't choose it. We did. Our choices created them. Then they arrive & often they are not put first. And then, their needs aren't properly met & their behavior changes for the worst and they cry too much and don't sleep through the night. They want to be held and how dare they act hungry all the time! How dare they take up our time! People act as if babies are manipulating the situation. When really they are just desperately needing things that only a mother can give! 

I tell mothers to enjoy being pregnant for you don't know what the future holds. It could be the only chance you get to experience it. I tell them, to enjoy the newborn and forget about the dishes. Cause guess what? It's been 30+ months and the dishes still get dirty. But having that precious time with Elijah is irreplaceable. I don't have to sit here with regrets or guilt about anything in regards to his development and how grounded & bonded he is to me and Kaleb. Which carries over into how grounded he is in life. He knows, in the night that we are near. He has never had to be away from the safety of his parents. 

Yes, in America we value sleep. Because we have these perfectly orchestrated, timed out lived. And babies interfere with the schedule. How dare they not conform!! An infant doesn't need a schedule. You know what they need? They need the constant presence of their mother. They need to sleep on her chest, hear her heartbeat, smell her, and feel her warmth. 

I tell mothers to enjoy newborn life because now I sit here and I'm exhausted. Being the mom of an extraordinary 2.5 year old little boy involves every emotion, everyday. It's beautiful. It's messy. It's fast. It's slow. It's in-between. It's spiritual. It's joyful. It's educational. Its hard. It's everything. It takes a skill set that is developed over time. The newborn stage, if approached naturally and without the American pathetic ideals in mind, is easy. Because it doesn't take thought, as much as it takes action. It takes being there. It takes sacrifice, yes. But the baby is immobile! They can't go anywhere! They can climb trees at warp speed, or run away or yell "no mama"!! Newborns need to be nourished, changed and HELD! Toddlers need everything. They are developing so many skill sets that will be theirs for a lifetime. And it's my job as full time mom to continue to nurture and guide Elijah so he is the best possible version of himself. The version that the Lord God intended when He knit him together in my womb. 

I tell mothers to soak up their newborn. Breath them in, let them be on your skin all the time and don't ever let society tell you the baby is a burden. Don't ever let them make you feel like your baby doesn't act right or perform according to the idiotic standards of modern day America. Because simply existing, the baby is doing exactly what he/she knows how to do. It's our job to give them their needs. They need us. 

 I am far more tired now then I ever was when Elijah was a baby. Babyhood is easy. Hold tight to that and enjoy every second!

Homeschooling? How dumb!

SAID NO ADULT EVER (WHO WAS ACTUALLY HOMESCHOOLED WELL)!!!!

 I read the entire transcript of Obamas speech. The one where he says all sorts of lovely stuff about women. And then claims that women are forced to stay home because childcare isn't available. 

I want to know how many women that ACTUALLY is? 

Find me a stat. A number. I want the proof from the horses mouth. 

I see that women who want to work, can and do. He wants to magically make daycare more available and better? By what funding it through the government? Sending our kids to institutions ran by government workers? Where do these magic daycare/childcare providers come from? They must be women, right? 

How does he think he will create better child care programs? He says all this wishy washy stuff. But never says HOW he will accomplish it. And no one ever thinks about it all the way through. 

As a homeschooled individual, it's extremely demeaning & insulting to say that children are better taught outside of the home. ..

"because we know investing in high-quality early childhood education makes all the difference in the world." -Obama

And frankly, it's ignorant to claim children are better educated by professionals with strangers sitting all around. Some children NEED one on one attention. 

Staying home was a stress free, bully free, schedule free, environment. I made choices about my education when I was 10. I was able to choose what projects to do. And I was able to focus on things I liked to learn about while also incorporating important educational areas - reading, writing, math, science, history. 

So to say that a child is best served in a classroom of 30 students at age 3, isn't fair. Not all children thrive in chaos. Actually, most do not enjoy it. 

Our son is very social, get him in a huge group of people and he clams up. It overwhelms him. And why wouldn't it? And why is it said to be bad if he can't handle loud groups of people? I can already tell, he learns best when he's one and one. He needs quiet, loving attention.

And I will provide him with opportunities and experiences in group settings. We will join home educating co-ops for group learning. And he will get socialized. I promise. 

Somehow I managed to be homeschooled and still attend highschool and graduate with honors! And then obtain two college degrees. I have my associates degree and LPN. 

 Weird.

 Shouldn't I have been stupid from all my "home edumacating" by someone who isn't a qualified professional? 

HOW could someone dumb home educate me? Is that a serious question? 

Is this really the BEST we can do?

Why do we have the view that a one year old should be able to handle being all alone at night??

Why is it "babyish" for a 4 year old to need his mom? 

Why is an infant expected to sleep through the night? 

Why is 2 the magic potty training age? 

Why is breastfeeding past age one such a stigma? 

Why is an 18 month old expected to always feed themselves and stop being like a baby? 

Why is needing to be held a bad thing? At any age? 

WHY? 

These are just a few of the questions I have about our American modern parenting ideas. 

Since becoming a parent, I have learned one major thing: The American way of parenting is a bunch of cow poop! Seriously! 

There are all of these expectations. Demanding that children grow up faster than they need to is the main one. The moment a child is born there are all sorts of expectations. And the infant is constantly failing. Never measuring up to what society says he or she should be doing! 

But my question is, why!? Why do these expectations exist? Why do we cow tail to society? 

Why do we force babies to do things? Why don't more parents research what is ACTUALLY best for the baby!? --Not what doctors SAY is best. 

Why don't we let the baby stay a baby? They spend 9-10 months inside of our bodies. Then in a flash we expect them to detach and sleep all alone in a bassinet/crib. 

And my question is WHY? 

Cribs haven't always existed. And our human species kept going? How? 

Out on the African Safari, where parenting is simply instinctual, I'm sure they would find our idea of cribbing infants, completely ridiculous. Because they keep their children close at night.

 Or if we asked them how many times a day does your baby eat? They wouldn't have a clue what we were asking. Because they simply nurse their baby every time he/she needs them. And they don't write down how long they fed or at what time. They don't wean their children. They just live. Breastfeeding is necessary for survival. And that is how I view breastfeeding. And I don't care what anyone thinks or says. I will nurse Elijah as long as he wants. I trust that he will stop when he no longer needs the comfort and security of my bosom. Until then, back off! 

I digress, back to my original thought process, why? 

Why can't a baby stay a baby? I had no idea that as my child turned one and continued to grow taller and stronger, that people would look down on me for nursing, cosleeping, and cuddling. Why is it, one, any of your business? And two, why is it a bad thing to let Elijah be attached to me? I see that he is thriving and healthy. He is social and loves people. He is smiley and verbal & very observant. He isn't shy. He is loud and friendly. 

People often compliment me and Kaleb on how cute and friendly E is. And I always think, a lot of work went into allowing him to become himself. And a lot of thought went into his life. --Caring about HIS feelings. Putting him first and putting him above my wants and my feelings. 

I wonder how he would be if I forced him to detach. If I kept him at arms length. If I was planning how to get him to be self soothing before he even learns to talk? Would he be scared? Would he be shy? 

I'm glad I don't know the answers to those questions. 

I think as parents, in 2014, in America, we should question more things. We should question doctors. We should question other parents! Instead of saying, nonchalantly, "I did what was best for my child". When in reality, we often choose what is BEST for us and we label it "best for our child". We hide behind this facade. The facade that we aren't selfish beings. Many parenting choices aren't for the BEST interest of the child involved. The choices are for us. Why do we want the baby to sleep through the night? Because we are tired? Because WE WANT SLEEP? Do we ever take a moment to think about the child's needs? Because we should. Their physiological and emotional needs should come first! FIRST!

Why do we jam pacifiers into brand new, newborns mouths? Why don't we figure out what they NEED first? More than likely, they are hungry OR they want to be held. I never gave a paci to Elijah before trying everything else. Every time he seemed agitated, I nursed him. Every. Time. Pacifiers being in a baby's mouth constantly is unnatural. The baby is so tiny and I see what parents do, they jam the pacifier in and hold it there until the baby succumbs to it. I think a paci used appropriately is a different story. But it shouldn't be the first solution. It should be the last. It has NEVER given me a happy feeling. Like the feeling I get when I hear a baby cry and then watch as the mother soothes the babe with her breast. It's beautiful! Simple. Lovely. I get weepy talking about it. It's something so human and beautiful. It's also something incredibly holy and sacred. I hope I will be a breastfeeding mother for the next 10 years. I would be okay if E nursed and then another baby came and we kept on nursing. 

I will end on this note:::: 

 We should want what is TRULY best for our kids. God gives us the best. He sent His son to die so we could have eternal life. The least, LEAST we can do is love our children and give them the best of us. 

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8 NIV)

Always

I will never be done sharing how Jesus has changed me. And made me new. And taken away the guilt and pain and shame of my past. And how the joy of The Lord has filled my heart. 

I was never trying to fight. 

Simply spreading hope to anyone who wants it.

But I've put in the effort. The daily renewing of my mind. Daily finding new ways to see beauty. 

I also had to make choices. Stop drinking and smoking and doing drugs and openly and blatantly sinning and being vulgar and gross. 

All my choices lead me down a dark path. And then by God's grace, I couldn't take it anymore and I chose to let God have my heart instead of the world. 

Those choices and the knowledge of knowing that every day is a new day and Jesus loves and forgives me when I stumble, all of it together has lead me to here and now. 

It isn't something that magically happened over night. And it wasn't by chance. I sought hard and still do. 

I chose to stop the party life and choose to go to church and praise God. And listen to Bible teachers. And truly repent and let my heart be softened. 

It isn't something I take lightly. 

But it is something, I love sharing. And I love helping other people find a relationship with Jesus. It's what life is all about.

Sleep

Our journey 

This topic is a minefield. That much I know is true. 

But now that we have made it past the first year & sleep is attainable a lot more often these days, I thought I would write out some of my findings and beliefs about sleep. 

Proverbs 3:24

If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

Psalm 4:8 

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

There is so much pressure to get your baby to be a "good sleeper". This pressure starts almost immediately after you give birth. At least it did for me. Usually, the very first question someone asks me about our son is something similar to, "Is he a good sleeper?" 

To which I always reply "Yes, yes he is". Because, frankly, it isn't any of their business how our child sleeps. It is just the question people ask to compare and throw advice at new mothers. It is a parenting grading scale. Because clearly, if your child isn't sleeping properly, you are a huge failure as a parent. Right? 

Wrong!

What is a good sleeper anyways? 

A baby who sleeps all night? 

A baby who goes to bed easily? 

A baby who sleeps 10 -12 hours straight? 

I have found that in our culture, it is all of the above. And to that notion, I roll my eyes and scoff. Because I refuse to label my child. I won't do it. I refuse to say

 "he always _____"

 "he never ______"

 "he is a bad sleeper" etc. 

As soon as we start labeling, those labels seep into the child's identity. And it becomes part of who they are. We continuously repeat negative phrases as if they are absolutes. When logically, humans are fluid. Meaning that if we are searching and learning and striving for change & maturity, we do change. We can grow mentally. 

Children are constantly changing. Isn't that why childhood is so precious? Because it is so short? So why do we expect consistency when their little bodies are growing so rapidly? It is said that a newborn grows, on average, a millimeter a DAY! Their neurons and synapses are firing so rapidly! And their tiny bodies grow and grow! 

With children comes a type of beautiful, messy chaos full of love. At least, that is how I see it. I see them as people. People that do NOT need a perfected strict schedule. With tight schedules, there often is no room for fun or spontaneity. And children need love, fun, guidance, and discipline. But above all they need love. They need to feel secure and safe before they can ever truly understand love. Each child has a specific way they need to be loved. Just as adults have love languages, children do as well. 

Since, I am staying home to raise our child(ren), K left it up to me to figure out what to do with E in regards to sleep. As far as sleep scheduling or non-scheduling is concerned, I have prayed and sought out all of the information on sleep that I could find. And after compiling it all together, my conclusion was, attachment parenting is natural. Any other type of parenting doesn't appear to meet a child's needs on all levels. And in time I trusted the process and I knew Elijah would sleep through the night when his body was ready. Babies do not have the same sleep patterns as adults. 

Go figure? Who knew! (I jest)

His body will find it's own circadian rhythm {more info}. Each child is different. To expect babies to sleep through the night is cruel. It is putting expectations on them that aren't healthy; Especially, separate of breastmilk. A mother's milk has sleep inducing hormones in it. And those hormones increase in relation to the mother's circadian rhythm (night and day). 

Sure, we can force sleep to happen and most children will adapt and succumb to the sleep regimen. And then we sit back and say how good of a sleeper they are, FINALLY! As if, until that glorious moment they were failing as a human being and our child. They were causing us stress. 

How dare they do that? How dare our brand new child be a lot of work. 

After being on the planet for less than a month we are already comparing them to other babies, and expecting them to not need us. Personally, I like that Elijah needs me. I enjoy every moment he needs reassurance. The more I researched, I found that confidence and security go hand in hand with how a child is allowed to sleep. We are mammals and we need close contact. From the moment we are born we crave it. And as parents, if we don't meet that emotional need for our infants, the child misses out. Babies do have feelings. How do we think a child feels if they are left alone in a crib to cry? Is it building trust??

No. It can create negative lasting effects. These effects can range from behavioral issues to anxiety to depression to desperation for love. It is important that we let our children attach to us.

We sit here and we speak for our babies, saying how much they like what we force them to do, in regards to sleep. Obviously they can't communicate and tell us their feelings. Instead they whine or pout or in some cases they internalize the emotions until they are older and then LOOKOUT. All because this American way of life calls for perfect sleep and perfect schedules. 

It is nonsense to expect each newborn to fit into a little tiny made up box. Was that box created with the child's emotions, growth, health or brain development in mind? 

No, it was created because of our busy lives. And from the moment a child is born, they are expected to adapt to this insane American lifestyle. A lifestyle that is go go go! And our precious sleep is very important because we have so much to do! 

It is so easy to get sucked in to the notion that if my child isn't sleeping through the night by 6 months old, I am doing everything wrong. But it isn't natural for them to sleep all night. 

And yes, waiting for E's body to regulate itself has come with sacrifices. K goes to bed when he needs to and I go to bed when Elijah gets sleepy. 

I could sit and fight and fight for control. I could make myself crazy trying to force our child to bed. Or, I could play & tickle & laugh & wrestle and get him good and tired. And then his body finds it's own rhythm. It isn't exactly the same every day. But neither is our growing son. 

Sometimes I can tell, his brain is moving so fast, his body struggles to calm down. Which means, I am not going to force sleep on him. Because it would be a form of torture. I stimulate his brain and give him the attention and affection he is craving. 

Incorporating essential oils into our night time "routine" is helpful. But those oils alone don't do the trick, they help after a full day of activity & night time breast feeding. 

If I get in a frenzy about sleep, which I have, then Elijah struggles to sleep. I don't even have to externalize my worries, even though, that is nearly impossible. Especially, when it comes to anxieties and worries that shouldn't be there. Those worries and anxious thoughts can translate to our son. I can tell he feels it in his soul. But when I stay calm inside of myself, when I find rest for my soul through prayer and Jesus' arms, E is calm. He sleeps better too!

If I let myself get worked up, if I compare Elijah to other children, if I fight against the natural way things unfold, if I try to hurry life along, I am not in sync with God's plan for our lives. I am trying to make my own plan. I start to think I know best. 

God created time and He created the natural order of things on earth. He created a baby's sleep pattern. God created it all. 

Who am I to argue with that? 

If I sit here and preach that God is in control but I take it upon myself to force my child to sleep before his body is ready, doesn't that defeat what I preach in the first place??

This post was fueled by last night. E slept 7 straight hours. I feel rested. He appears rested. It is wonderful. Now, here is the catch 22, I do not expect him to sleep that way tonight or tomorrow night. I take each day as it comes. His body does regulate in his own time. 

I sit here thankful for last night.

In the end, when I let go of my worries and let go of the control I like to have, in time, things come together as they should. They come together as God intended. 

Proverbs 14:30

30 A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones.

Philippians 4:6 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Psalm 55:22

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

1 Peter 5:618 

6Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,7casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.…

Galatians 6:10

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Romans 12:9

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.