22 | 52

Week 22

 E loves playing in the rain! I am so glad it rained today and wasnt stormy. Usually in Minnesota it is stormy if it rains. This was a nice quick shower. And it really helped my garden too! 

God is good! 

God Bless the troops! 

21 | 52

WEEK 21

Our baby is almost 17 months! AH!

To my Mother in Law

I made a list of all the things I want to thank you for and I wanted to have it typed up and ready for Mother's Day.

Many of these things are in relation to the man you raised who is my husband. 

THANK YOU, for, being the kind of mother who let's her children explore and get dirty. Kaleb is not afraid of dirt and the outdoors. It's quite the opposite. He loves being outside and he will pass that onto our children. 

THANK YOU, for, developing his food palette. What I mean by this is, Kaleb is the least picky eater I have ever known. He eats everything and loves it all! That is rare. And I know it's partly because of your cooking and also because you didn't allow him to be picky. "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit" ;) 

THANK YOU, for, being supportive even when the decisions Kaleb made took him further away from you. Because you supported him when he played sports as a child it lead him to become a man who can take risks and chances. He is confident and secure. You supported him even when he decided to move to Minnesota to be with me. I can never fully express my gratitude. Your son is far away from you and your family and that isn't easy. But you haven't ever made him feel bad for his choice to be here with me. And I am eternally grateful because K has changed my life and I am a better person for knowing him. 

THANK YOU, for, all of the baby clothing for E! While I was pregnant it was so fun to get packages in the mail! And E wore the clothes and shoes all the time! He is still wearing the things he hasn't grown out of! 

THANK YOU, for, sending us cute cards! They make our days brighter; Especially in the winter time! 

THANK YOU, for, entrusting me with your friendship. And for being open and honest and truthful. I truly feel like our last trip to visit we were really able to get to know each other's hearts. And I know we will continue to build on our relationship. I have nothing but hope for the future! 

THANK YOU, for, being accepting of my love for God. And respecting how important Jesus is to me and to our family. It makes all the difference. K would not be the man of God that he is today if he didn't have your support. 

THANK YOU, for, shopping with me and garage saling with me. They are beautiful lasting memories I will always cherish! 

THANK YOU, for, teaching Kaleb to think for himself and to stand up for what is important! And he is always ready to stand up for us if he needs to! 

THANK YOU, for, teaching Kaleb to be kind to others. He leads and guides our family with such grace and humility and patience. Cause let's face it, I can be difficult. Well, anyone can be, I suppose. :) 

THANK YOU, for, loving Kaleb and filling his love tank as a child. Together you and Tom raised a man who isn't afraid to love. And isn't afraid of his feelings. And that's because he was loves in your home growing up. And now he is able to have an example of love to show to me and E & to others he encounters. 

THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart! 

I love you! 

Jesus forgives...

We don't have to have a HUGE faith. Even if our faith is small, God sees it. We can't make our faith better. What we can do is align our hearts with the heart of Jesus. And as time goes on, as we study the BIBLE and pray and seek God's will, our faith is made stronger because of JESUS! It says so right here:

Ephesians 2:8-10

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Here is the deal, I have been letting the judgement of other people hinder my writing. 

Hinder me from telling the truth. 

Hinder me from being honest and open about what I believe and what I feel. 

I want to share with the world. 

I have been nervous because my beliefs differ from those of family members and friends. And I haven't wanted to rock the boat. But over the past two weeks, I have discovered that the people with differeing views and different religions don't shy away from telling me that I am wrong. So why should I stop writing what I think is the right thing? 

BUT I have been convicted of my thinking. 

Isn't the point to share the love of Jesus despite what others say or how they view me?

Yes! That is the point. 

To stand for Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, even when people get mad because your beliefs are different than theirs. 

I must press on. I must press forward. 

I MUST. 

There are no two ways about it! 

I have been worried about offending others with my writing but I see now that they don't care  about what I write.

 And frankly, caring what others think is silly. It really is. Because the people I was worried about offending, they don't care what my beliefs are, they are going to insist I accept theirs and insist that I keep an open mind.
Even when I refuse to. 
They may even tell me that being close minded won't let me move forward in my life. BUT I disagree. Wholeheartedly, I disagree. I have had a very closed mind for nearly 5 years now and I have moved forward a great deal!  

I do not want to keep an open mind when it comes to my faith.

There is one word of God. 

ONE

 My view is, there is only one God. One true God. One Savior who is not our brother, He is the son of God, He is the great I am. Their is one Holy Spirit and these three entities are THREE IN ONE! 

Father, Son and Holy Spirit. 

When we refer to God as our Father, it is figurative. He is the father of all in a spiritual sense. Not physically. We have earthly fathers that share the same genetics as us. That is completely different than having a Father in Heaven that loves us and sent His only SON to die for the sins of the world. 

I have been doing a lot of research about many different religions over the last several years. And I have come to one conclusion. Only true Christianity, Bible believing Christianity, offers forgiveness without having to DO anything to earn that forgiveness. 

There are no ceremonies. 

No sacred rituals. 

No need for secrets of any kind. 

NOTHING. 

It is about LOVE.
 In all of the other religions. ALL of them. LOVE is the missing factor. This is the factor that Jesus insisted must guide our lives as HIS followers. 

If you believe in Jesus and what He did on the cross, then that is IT! 
Your belief saves you. Your small. Human sized belief is all you need. 

God sees your belief and He washes you white as snow. 

Because God's GRACE covers us when we fail or mess up.

Clean as a whistle. 

Cleaner than that. 

Everything from your past is made new. 

We are made new. 

All other religions, forgiveness and restitution relies on your works. How good you are. How often you attend church. What special clothes you wear. How much money you give to the church. Where you get married. 

It isn't right and it isn't the way God intended it to be. 

He made it much easier than MAN has made things. 

Romans 8:38-39

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Today's thoughts on friendship

Do you ever have those days where past hurts creep back in?
A day where Something reminds you of an old friendship?
A day where the Memories are hard to shake? You can do your best to stuff them down. Do your best to forget all the fun times, all the I love yous, all the BFF moments, all the hang outs, all the late night driving sessions venting about men, all the future planning, all the phone calls, all the movies we watched, all the paper letters we wrote, all the prayers we prayed, the times we went to church together, all the late nights, all the dinner dates, all the sleep overs and all the talks.
 But somedays it is hard.
Hard to shake.
These days I pray.
I pray for you.
I pray that you find comfort even though this has been a painful year for you.
I pray that God is near to you as you plan your wedding. As it approaches I pray that you see the Lord in all of the little miracles that happen.
I pray for you.

Feelings creep back in and You wonder how a person could be a friend for so long and then just decide you don't matter at all. 

Facebook doesn't help either because you see too much of a person's life. Before Facebook when friendships ended you never saw that person again. But now it isn't that way. I contemplate unfriending but that would be hurtful to the other person. But then I wonder why I care considering my feelings were crushed for no good reason. 

No

Good

Reason 

Today was one of those days for me. Where everything reminds me of an ex-friend. Not an ex-boyfriend but an ex-best friend. Someone you thought was going to be a lifelong friend. The kind of friend where you have them in your wedding and you are in theirs. 

I cried today thinking about things. 

Whenever I have one of these days, I give the sad negative feelings to God (metaphorically lay them at the foot of the cross) and I pray for peace and love to fill the spaces where the sad feelings were residing. 

I will continue doing this for as long as I need. 

I am thankful that the hurt days are fewer and farther apart. 

And I am thankful that God is faithful and loves me even when other people blatantly disregard my feelings. 

I also pray that I don't stop being friends with people that haven't done anything to me. I mean, I would understand if I had done something to deserve to be cut out of someone's life. But I didn't. What I did do was choose Jesus instead of alcohol. I chose Jesus over the party. I chose Jesus over sin. And my friend decided that the world was far far more important than our friendship. That is the hard part. Sitting back and watching as someone chooses the world instead of me.
I never meant to make my friend feel guilty by choosing to leave the worldly life behind. But that is what happened when I was open and honest and said I was no longer able to stand by and watch as she sins openly and in public.
I felt guilty enough that I had wasted so much time at bars and at parties.
That is the risk we take when we decide that JESUS is more important than the party. 

Ok. It's late and I've run out of the ability to make good and proper sentences. 

Goodnight & God Bless! 💜

VANITY

What you think is about you, WILL be about you, regardless of reality.
you're so vain, you probably think this post, blog, status update, tweet is about you.

20 | 52

WEEK 20

I have been trying and trying to capture this unbelievably cute face that E makes! 

It is his "fake" photo smile! 

It makes me laugh every time. And he knows it! 

I am so glad I am so wildly obsessed with taking photos! This one is an all time Favorite of mine!