Elijah's sleep

Last night for the first time, Elijah didn't wake up from his bedroom and come into our bed. I can't help but feel sad. It's the slow fade of his babyhood. At the same time, I have no regrets in how we coslept. Everyone told me he would NEVER want to leave our bed. And he would never learn how to self regulate his sleep. Clearly, that was false. What is different, is I haven't been in a rush to force him to sleep alone until he was ready. Here we sit, having accomplished what I knew would just happen in HIS time; God's time and Elijah's, not mine, not the so called experts'. He loves his big boy bed. There's been no major battles. No nights of crying it out. If anything, it's been a ridiculously smooth transition. Considering the blogs and anecdotes I've read/heard about sleep training. We've had none of that. But that could be because there's been absolutely NO sleep training in this house. But mysteriously our child learned how to sleep through the night. The only reason he wakes in the night in his room is because he kicks the covers off and his hands get cold. It's amazing that sleeping through the night happens naturally if we allow it to unfold. Infants and small toddlers aren't designed to sleep solidly through the night. They need to know they are safe and secure. Who knew that humans were designed to sleep at night. (Hint of sarcasm) #momlife #insincts #patience 

Goodbye, for now.

God promised at the birth of time,

A special friend to give,

His time on earth is short, He said,

So love him while he lives. 

It may be for eight or ten years,

Or only two or three,

But will you, till I call him back,

Take care of him for Me? 

A wagging tail and cold wet nose,

And silken velvet ears,

A heart as big as all outdoors,

To love you through the years. 

His puppy ways will gladden you,

And antics bring a smile,

As guardian or friend he will,

Be loyal all the while. 

He'll bring his charms to grace your life,

And though his stay be brief,

When he's gone the memories,

Are solace for your grief. 

I cannot promise he will stay,

Since all from earth return,

But lessons only a dog can teach,

I want you each to learn. 

I've looked the whole world over,

In search of guardians true,

And from the folk that crowd life's land,

I have chosen you. 

Whatever love you give to him,

Returns in triple measure,

Follow his lead and gain a life,

Brim full of simple pleasures. 

Enjoy each day as it comes,

Allow your heart to guide,

Be loyal and steadfast in love,

As the dog there by your side. 

Now will you give him all your love,

Nor think the labor vain,

Nor hate me when I come to call,

To take him back again? 

I fancy each of us would say,

Dear Lord, thy will be done,

For all the joys this dog shall bring,

The risk of grief we'll run. 

We'll shelter him with tenderness,

We'll love him while we may,

And for the happiness we've known,

Forever grateful stay. 

But should the angels call for him,

Much sooner than we've planned,

We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,

And try to understand. 

If by our love we've managed,

God's wishes to achieve,

In memory of him that we have loved,

And to help us while we grieve; 

When our faithful bundle departs,

This earthly world of strife,

We'll get yet another pup,

And love him all his life.

We bought a house

World Smile Day

This has been one of the longest days of our parenting career. I am so glad to be on the other side of it. I lay here in our warm bed so thankful. Thankful to God for sending me a great husband to care for our family. And to show God's love to our son. I am so thankful for our health. So many parents spend endless days & nights in hospital rooms, praying for their sick child. I am so thankful for the prayers of friends and family, near & far. It touches me that Instagram facilitates such a community. I cherish the friendships I have made. I digress,- this day has so many emotions. And I am still praying for the people involved in a terrible car accident as we drove back home from Mankato. I am so thankful for such a lovely & kind dentist. She made everything better for our sweet boy! And she told us we are great parents & to not worry about his teeth problems being our fault. I needed to hear that. I truly did. This whole day has been more proof that my Father in Heaven is watching & taking care of us. 

My job.

How we treat our kids is most important. As the world systematically crushes the hearts of children, it's our job as parents to teach & show our children that God is for them. 

The above statement came to me as I watched my son wave and smile at a passerby who didn't return the gesture. And this isn't the first time I've observed this type of interaction. If we are out in public, it happens often. Usually, I say, "are you saying hi Elijah?"  Then and only then do the people change their facial expressions from blank/annoyed. And they give a smile or a wave and maybe just maybe say hello. 

It hit me that it's my job as Elijah's mother (and my husband's) to show him that he's special. And that being friendly is always the right thing to do. 

We must model this behavior for him. Because clearly the world and the people living in it, will not always be as kind. But we have to press on and continue to be kind without expecting anything in return. 

I can see that it would be easy to get discouraged as a child. Especially one who is just learning to communicate. He tries to and people just stare at him like he's an alien. Seriously, people react more to puppies and kittens then they do to my son! 

And maybe it's the area in which we live. I sure hope so. I hope people are more friendly in less harsh of climates. But that isn't where we live. We live here. Here in MN where people can be very cold. And people tend to be antisocial unless they are drunk. 

But no matter what. It's still my job to impart God's love to my child(ren). 

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6 

Always

I will never be done sharing how Jesus has changed me. And made me new. And taken away the guilt and pain and shame of my past. And how the joy of The Lord has filled my heart. 

I was never trying to fight. 

Simply spreading hope to anyone who wants it.

But I've put in the effort. The daily renewing of my mind. Daily finding new ways to see beauty. 

I also had to make choices. Stop drinking and smoking and doing drugs and openly and blatantly sinning and being vulgar and gross. 

All my choices lead me down a dark path. And then by God's grace, I couldn't take it anymore and I chose to let God have my heart instead of the world. 

Those choices and the knowledge of knowing that every day is a new day and Jesus loves and forgives me when I stumble, all of it together has lead me to here and now. 

It isn't something that magically happened over night. And it wasn't by chance. I sought hard and still do. 

I chose to stop the party life and choose to go to church and praise God. And listen to Bible teachers. And truly repent and let my heart be softened. 

It isn't something I take lightly. 

But it is something, I love sharing. And I love helping other people find a relationship with Jesus. It's what life is all about.

There is always hope.

READ THIS, AND TELL ME THERE IS NO HOPE FOR PEOPLE BATTLING DEPRESSION----

ROMANS 8:1-39

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:1-39 NIV)

Fight

Tragic events should make us sit back and take stock of our lives. 

They should make us pull our blinders off and really look around.

 Maybe, we should be nice to the cashier at Walmart or smile at a toddler as he waves violently and smiles and says hi hi hi. 

Or I don't know, maybe look at the people around us and take the grimaced off of our faces. 

When we bump into someone, we should say excuse me. We should stop driving with such intense rage. 

As we go about our day to day lives, we should be paying attention for every opportunity to share God's love in whatever way, shape or form we can. Life is short and we take it for granted. We also walk around ignoring the fact that their is an evil one lurking, waiting in the darkness. And he wants us to stay in our selfish comfort zone. He wants us to ignore the people around us. He wants hurting people to feel isolated. He wants to trick them into thinking that they aren't loved and that death is the answer. Then he sits back and laughs as everyone left behind is in pain. And he feels like he has accomplished something great. But those of us who have Satans number, those of us who know his tricks, we can be the light. Darkness must flee in the presence of light.  We can continue to wage war against evil. We can love our neighbors and be kind to our enemies. And we can make Satan quiver and keep his demons in hell where they belong. 

Instead of wishing peace to someone who is no longer breathing, we should be bringing peace to our communities. We should be praying for the people still on earth who are broken. We should be embracing one another. We should be claiming our cities in Jesus' name. We should be blessing our fellow man. 

We should fight for life. 

Things aren't always what they seem

We've had a few rough nights this past week. Not quite sure why or what's the deal. But taking each new day as it comes and praying over our sweet boy. #Ebear has been clingy & really wants to be near us at night. I'm not one for forcing the issue when it comes to sleep. I follow my instincts. My mama radar is up. And either he's working through a growth spurt of epik proportions or perhaps he's about to learn a bunch of words and his brain is on overdrive. He's had a few other spells of sleep regression that appears as anxiety on the surface and in about 6-8 days it works itself out. And he's back to spending nights in his crib. Until then, I sit back and enjoy the cuddles because before we know he will be big & won't need them. #iloveyou #4amconfessions #momlife

Happy Birthday, Amanda!

So, it turns out that The Lord has given me a nifty little gift. The gift of being able to express myself through writing. I have decided that I will do my best to use this gift to glorify God. And He has shown me that to do that, I need to focus on the positive things about the people in my life. And write about those things.

 

Today is the Birthday of a very dear friend of mine. She is the first friend I have made through social media. All because another mutual friend introduced us. 

That was nearly two years ago! I can't believe it! I am excited that our children will be able to know each other for years to come!

Amanda and I have grown close because of our mutual love for Jesus. That mutual love permeates our choices and our view of life. It keeps us grounded. That love helps us with our insecurities. It helps us find our way when there seems to be no way. Friendships like this, for me, have been rare. But they are the best kind of friendships. This friendship contains two people who recognize that humanity is flawed and we need a Savior. 

Michael W. Smith sang it best "friends are friends forever if the Lord's The Lord of them". 

Yeah, corny, I know. But I'm feeling sappy. 

Amanda is many things. She is hardworking and kind. I always admire horse owners. It takes a special type of person to own those majestic animals. They need a lot of care and attention. They need toughness mixed with kindness. I always thought I wanted a horse until I took lessons and had to DO the work. 

Amanda does all she can to be a light to those around her. She is always there to listen when I need someone to talk. I do my best to do the same for her. She has talked me through several different situations. 

She takes her role as a mother and wife very seriously. E & baby #2 are very blessed to have a mother like Amanda. 

She is prayerful and loving. And puts others ahead of herself. She takes the time to think about things from another perspective and is not quick to judge. 

I feel as though we have been friends for a lifetime.

 I've never been a believer in romantic soul mates. But I do believe that there are ordained "soul mate" friendships. People that just click together. These friendships hold the test of time. 

True friends are hard to come by in this world. I feel beyond blessed to know Amanda. I am so thankful to God, for bringing us together. She has been an answer to many of my prayers. 

When friendships end badly, I tend to blame myself and internalize everything. Through my friendship with Amanda (and a few others), God has helped me to see that there isn't anything wrong with me. It is nice to know I can have an open heart in our friendship and it isn't going to get stomped on. Because I can trust my friend, Amanda with my feelings. 

It is a beautiful feeling to know that Amanda is my friend. 

A beautiful, sweet and loving friend! 

Happy Birthday, 

Amanda! 

I love you! 

PS: I couldn't decide on just one photo so I added them all! 💗

»--►Young Living ◀--«

I have decided to become a wholesaler of Young Living Essential Oils!

I am very excited about this! It is a new adventure and it is something to help the health of my family (and yours)!
I have been using lavender and tea tree oil for several years. And now that we are incorporating other oils into our daily life, I have seen a change.
Last week, I was beginning to have white spots on my tonsils. So I asked the group what I should do, and they recommended using one drop of lemon oil and one drop of thieves oil in hot water. And drink it as I would a cup of tea. And I did this one time and the white spots disappeared. They have not returned. I continue to use the tea mixture every day and I have not gotten sick. It has been miraculous! In the past, if I started to get white spots, I would then get a fever, headache and sore throat; the usual flu symptoms. But this time, while using the oils, I have not. My husband and son both had the influenza A and I did not get it. I had just purchased the oils in time to protect myself from the sickness. Oh, how I wish I had the oils prior to the two of them getting influenza A. But now I have them and will continue using them for years to come!
I am so glad God created oils to help us. The more we can eliminate toxins from our systems, the better!

If you join as a wholesaler, there is a community of people that you will be connected with and you will have access to all of their advice via Facebook groups.  

If you are interested in Young Living Essential Oils email me and I can help you out! 

jenni.holz625@gmail.com
Just put "Young Living" in the subject line!

OR
find me on
 Instagram: @mamaholzhauer
OR 
Twitter @mamaholzhauer

This is the premium starter kit.
Kit includes: Everyday Oils collection (Everyday Oils Essential Oil Collection includes: 
1 - 5 ml Joy
1 - 5 ml Frankincense
1 - 5 ml Lemon
1 - 5 ml Lavender
1 - 5 ml Peppermint
1 - 5 ml Purification
1 - 5 ml Panaway
1 - 5 ml Peace & Calming®
1 - 5 ml Thieves®
1 - 5 ml Valor®),
Home Diffuser, Welcome to Young Living booklet, Essential Oils at a Glance user’s guide, Distributor Resource Guide, S.E.E.D. Sharing for Success booklet, Stress Away 5-ml, AromaGlide Roller Fitment, two Lavender Sample Packets, two Peppermint Sample Packets, two Peace & Calming Sample Packets, two Lemon Sample Packets, two Thieves Sample Packets, Sample Packet Business Cards, two NingXia Red 2-oz. samples, Distributor Agreement, Product Guide and Product Price List.

I decided to make a small shelf to hold my oils. Can't wait to add a second shelf in the weeks to come! :)

These are the oils that come with the starter kit. If you look at peppermint and lemon, that is what the oils look like unopened. 

PAN AWAY is amazing! 

Three of my most favorite oils. Peace and calming is diffused at night time in our house. Thieves is diffused when we aren't feeling well. Joy is diffused in the mid-morning along with lemon sometimes, if I feel tired. 

My husband uses Valor often

Thieves is my go to! It's the oil that saved me from getting sick. 

Peppermint helped my 15 month old's couch and stuffy nose. 

This oil is good when you know you have a long drive and my husband uses it in the mornings before work. 

These are three oils I LOVE the smell of when mixed together in the diffuser. I can't get enough!