The ONE thing

 I will never stop asking this. When is the magical unicorn day this mass hysteria stops? 

15 days turned into 30 that now turned into almost 6 months of constant lies & manipulation.  

Do people not see that the haters of America have found the ONE thing that people are willing to roll with to lose freedoms?? They’ve been looking for that THING since America was founded. 

This is it. Anyone dissenting is called selfish because this is about safety.  They found the ONE thing that cancelled EASTER Ecclesia for almost everyone. They found the thing to start attacking the CHURCH! And they are doing it right out in the open. And most people are okay with it because it’s about safety. Think about it, many states are dictating how many people can attend church! In America, not everyone can attend church that wants to and that is despicable.

And for some reason because it’s about health, no one sees that it’s the same exact tactics as any other slow take over/fade into communism. Because they’ve manipulated the masses with “forced” well visits and false medical doctrine for decades. They have slowly made Americans believe that doctors are all FOR you & your health. All Doctors know more than other people about health. They have ALL the answers. It is a religion. And any doctor who has ideas that differ from the collective, is silenced  

Health Experts would never walk into the Oval Office and LIE about numbers and death in order to change America fundamentally! Oh no they are all caring and full of heart and love for all life and they don’t have any agendas. They’d never try and gain more power or help their friends. Oh no. They wouldn’t follow their own political ideologies ABOVE the well being of millions of Americans. They wouldn’t force mass shutdowns and ignore the suicides, substance abuse and depression. They wouldn’t stand in front of the American people and spit lies in order to get their power and money back to their elite friends. People don’t like power or control right? And people definitely don’t work together to take over countries and control the masses, right? 

Do you love America for giving us our God given rights? There’s no where else we can have them.

Also, have you ever heard the stories of Christians in other countries meeting even when it’s illegal? Have you been proud of those Christians for doing what is right? If you have, this is the same exact situation. But remember they found the ONE thing that most people can get behind because of their ingrained, medical belief system/doctrine.

Do you watch the stories of immigrants who fled COMMUNISM and feel anything? Feel moved or start weeping? Because I do. Maximo Alvarez said it best “there’s no where else to go”. Imagine the PTSD this is triggering in any immigrant who actually watched their country erode into communism. 

My Nonna as a young girl fled with Nuns to North Africa to escape the Nazi’s in Italy. She watched her brother lose his life by stepping on a bomb. She always says, when she hears a politician speak about redistributing wealth or higher taxes or welfare etc, and says, “that’s communist. They want control.”

Just because this isn’t about removing a people group from their homes and carting them off, this is the SAME beginning threats. Think about what is happening and really play it out in your mind. They have task forces to check for mask dissenters. But again, because it’s about safety and health, people refuse to see the signs. 

Please please Go learn about how the other countries changed. And please learn the difference between a Constitutional Republic & a Democracy. Because I sure as heck don’t want to live in a democracy - which is one step closer to socialism/communism.

We are either free or we are not. And I choose freedom. A freedom given to us by God that others died to protect. Imagine what they would say if they knew we CLOSED our churches! Imagine what they’d say if they saw us ignoring the communism that is creeping in. Imagine what they’d say if they saw people so divided over this topic of FREEDOM. 

NOW IS WHEN WE STAND. 

IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?

My journey to Surrender

I want to share my journey to Baby #2. I hope that it brings anyone who reads it to a place of peace. But more importantly, I pray it shows you that surrendering to the God of the universe is always worth it. I will explain what I mean later on.

Let's back up to JUNE 2014.

Kaleb and I had been praying and feeling like we should let God plan our family. And we both want several more children. So we decided to let things unfold naturally. But, if I'm honest I wanted a baby to happen soon.

July, August, September, October, November, all went by and no baby. I thought, no big deal, we will just keep going. But I was starting to get sad.

January, nope.
February, my monthly was late, nut nope, I wasn't pregnant.

Over winter last year is when I really started to feel sad. I wondered why it wasn't happening. Part of this sadness was because things happened right away with Elijah.

But God had a different journey for me. I remember driving one day, this summer and praying and talking to God. And in all seriousness, my thoughts and words were coming from an angry place, a sad place; from a "why me? Why are you doing this God? What I want isn't bad, I just want a baby" My heart was whiny and I had dug my spiritual heals in. I did not want to budge.

Plain and simple.

That day, I remember so clearly, I wish I would've written down the date. I believe it was in May 2015. God impressed these words into my mind, "Why aren't you content? If Elijah is your only child is that good enough? It should be."

BAM.

God has a way of getting right to the point. He knows me perfectly. I knew the words were from God, because my own mind would never think of them, not in a million years. They brought me to my knees (metaphorically of course as I was driving). I wept in the car. I had gotten so caught up in my own pity party that I hadn't wanted to surrender to God's ultimate plan.


For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.
Psalm 100:5


If I know God is good because the Bible tells me just that, then why was I arguing?


The other big revelation I had was that the journey to surrendering means more when it's been difficult. And what I mean by that is, only if we've been resisting God's will and insisting we know best, only then does it mean a great deal to let go of our plans and soften our hearts and trust in God.


I wept that day in the car for two reasons. One was a feeling of embarrassment for my childish words to God. But the other reason is hard to explain. I looked at Elijah in his car seat and was thankful. This boy of ours is a wonderful child. He is exactly what our family needed in 2013 and he continues to be exactly what our world needs now. How could I not be okay with him being my only child? Many women don't get the chance to carry a child of their own.



In the car that day, I said,
Okay God,
1. I'm sorry for my selfish mindset.
2. Today, I move forward. I surrender. I let go of my plans. And I will wait on you.

He says, 

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 46:10


I was going to choose to be still and rest in knowing, the same God who created the world, who sent His son to die in my place for my sins, will take care of me and my heart. I also decided to pray every day for a child. I was so caught in being sad I hadn't been praying daily for a baby. I struggle and often think it annoys God to pray for the same things over and over. That is my own human nature putting impatience and an unapproachable personality onto God. When He doesn't hold those qualities.


this journey of patience and surrender has brought me ever so close to my Lord. It showed me, once again how God knew what I needed before I did. It showed me that being sad or mad or frustrated or angry are all OKAY emotions. We cannot help the emotions that arise within us. Nor does God want us to ignore them. What he wants is for us to bring those feelings to Him. When we do that we are less likely to act out in a sinful manner. We can leave our hearts and feelings in God's hands.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one.
John 10:27-30


He is our Father in Heaven.
He sees me and He loves me.
He sees you and He loves you.
He sees us and He loves us.


He wants us to trust Him.


So often, we are afraid of negative feelings. I know I am. I think God will be displeased with me for being sad or angry. But He isn't. He is there and His grace abounds in our deepest struggles.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18


September 24, 2015 I was late. But, we had been here before and I prayed.
I said,
Okay, Lord, whatever the result, it's okay. The life you've laid before me is yours and I'm grateful. Help me to continue to be content.


PRAYER IS POWERFUL!
Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.
1 Chronicles 16:11

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6



The test was positive!
I couldn't believe it!
What a beautiful surprise!


God had me walk a trial specifically tailored to who I am. It's hard to explain in words. But I look back and I needed to come to a humble place of surrender. It has deepened my relationship with the Lord and it has strengthened my daily walk with Jesus.


Side note:
The other major thing I learned from this: 1. DON'T randomly ask people when is baby #2 coming. If you have to ask, you obviously don't know the struggle the woman/couple has been facing.
2. And DO NOT say "it's about time." When someone announces another pregnancy. Just don't. It's hurtful if the people have lost a baby, miscarried or simply waited as I did.
All of or sadness is real. Be kind when you speak.


In the end---
The tears, the anger and the worry all served a purpose. How could I know peace and contentment without first being tormented and discontented?


I hope by reading this, you are encouraged. Whatever you are going through, wherever you are, God is near. He is waiting for you to talk to Him. He's not mad or disappointed. He is simply waiting for you.


This life may be difficult, tragedy occurs but God is constant through all things. He brings beauty out of ashes.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor
Isaiah 61:1-3


We are each given the life we have. God sets us in our families. It's our choice to choose Jesus and seek after Him.

My prayer is that by sharing my journey you are encouraged. I pray you seek Jesus and find the grace waiting for you.

This verse has been my mantra through this journey, God placed it on my heart a few weeks ago.

Psalm 30:11-12 “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.”


All my love,


Jenni

Hind sight // God's plan

Joseph's story in the Bible is one of my favorites. Joseph must've been so scared to be sold into slavery. He must have been sad and angry many times through out his life. Because other people a used their power and hurt him.

It reminds me that hind sight is a funny thing. As we are in the midst of something painful, sad, confusing or frustrating (or all of the above) it's easy to forget about God. Or it's easy to think he's forgotten me. But that's our flesh and that's me attributing human characteristics to God. People let us down. People forget us. But God. God does not. He just doesn't. And when we look back after the hard time has passed, if we've been following God through it, we can see all the beauty he revealed. We can look back and see His hand was over us the entire time. There was a point to the suffering. And there was a purpose for the pain. It molds us and changes us and stretches us to new depths. His plan and His will for my life is good. 

There is always hope.

READ THIS, AND TELL ME THERE IS NO HOPE FOR PEOPLE BATTLING DEPRESSION----

ROMANS 8:1-39

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:1-39 NIV)