Hind sight // God's plan

Joseph's story in the Bible is one of my favorites. Joseph must've been so scared to be sold into slavery. He must have been sad and angry many times through out his life. Because other people a used their power and hurt him.

It reminds me that hind sight is a funny thing. As we are in the midst of something painful, sad, confusing or frustrating (or all of the above) it's easy to forget about God. Or it's easy to think he's forgotten me. But that's our flesh and that's me attributing human characteristics to God. People let us down. People forget us. But God. God does not. He just doesn't. And when we look back after the hard time has passed, if we've been following God through it, we can see all the beauty he revealed. We can look back and see His hand was over us the entire time. There was a point to the suffering. And there was a purpose for the pain. It molds us and changes us and stretches us to new depths. His plan and His will for my life is good. 

Elijah's sleep

Last night for the first time, Elijah didn't wake up from his bedroom and come into our bed. I can't help but feel sad. It's the slow fade of his babyhood. At the same time, I have no regrets in how we coslept. Everyone told me he would NEVER want to leave our bed. And he would never learn how to self regulate his sleep. Clearly, that was false. What is different, is I haven't been in a rush to force him to sleep alone until he was ready. Here we sit, having accomplished what I knew would just happen in HIS time; God's time and Elijah's, not mine, not the so called experts'. He loves his big boy bed. There's been no major battles. No nights of crying it out. If anything, it's been a ridiculously smooth transition. Considering the blogs and anecdotes I've read/heard about sleep training. We've had none of that. But that could be because there's been absolutely NO sleep training in this house. But mysteriously our child learned how to sleep through the night. The only reason he wakes in the night in his room is because he kicks the covers off and his hands get cold. It's amazing that sleeping through the night happens naturally if we allow it to unfold. Infants and small toddlers aren't designed to sleep solidly through the night. They need to know they are safe and secure. Who knew that humans were designed to sleep at night. (Hint of sarcasm) #momlife #insincts #patience 

random thought on breastfeeding.

I've found that most women don't want to nurse every hour or as they say "on demand". They worry the baby is eating too much or too little. They pump because they want instant relief from discomfort and to know how many ounces baby is eating. But there's no amount of breastmik that will be too much for baby or cause harm. And as far as too little, with on demand feeding that's irrelevant. Up until now, a baby gets constant food and never has felt hungry in the womb. And they shouldn't. Most people wait until baby is crying. But experts say that means the baby has been very hungry for 15-30 mins. And they shouldn't wait that long. If baby was changed and still seems restless, I offered the breast. And nearly every time it solved the problem.
At the beginning I nursed Elijah sometimes every 30 mins. He was a snacker. Women told me, withhold a feeding and they will learn not to snack. But I never did that. I went off baby's own instincts. And looking back, I can't imagine any other way.