Kaleb and I have had a busy bunch of days since I last wrote a blog. We have been unpacking and also planning our trip to Florida. We are leaving August 18th and will come back to MN 7 days later. My grandparents are getting older. And my grandpa (Popop) has recovered from colon cancer and is weak and frail. We really feel in our spirits that the Lord is telling us we better get down there and see them. This is my moms side of the family. Kaleb hasn't met any of them. My mom has one sister who has 5 children. We are very excited to see them! I was able to fly to FL and see my cousins and grandparents in 2009. Before I met Kaleb and my life changed, in a great way. :) But my mom and siblings haven't seen that side of the family for 6 years We desperately need to go there. We are so excited! It is now or never for all of us to go because my brother is in the last stages of joining the Coast Guard. And then he will be gone. And he may not be back for a long time. And not to mention we will be parents and SO busy! Money will be tighter and life will be different. We know the Lord gave us this one shot to get down there. None of us want the regret of not seeing my grandparents. Especially considering my grandfather's health issues. So Kaleb has helped my mom plan the trip and everything. We are renting a van and driving down to South Carolina and then to Florida. We are all excited to see the ocean and Kaleb is going to surf the waves, he says.
The pregnancy is going along smoothly. I have been so hungry the past few days. Eating small meals about 6 times a day. It is a chore, but totally worth every minute. I have gained about 12 pounds since April; which is right where I should be. I love this little one and cannot wait to hold him/her. I found some awesome stuff online and Kaleb's grandma has sent us some great stuff. I cannot wait to use it! :)
Let's see, what else.. Oh yeah, we went to Costco over this past weekend and bought some shelves and a few items for the house. Things we desperately needed. Washclothes, bathmat, cocoa water (very healthy), & metal shelves for the garage.
On the way to Costco, Kaleb and I listened to some sermons by our favorite preacher, Pastor Mark Driscoll. He is a modern day Paul.
The sermon up above is the 2nd one we listened to and it was fabulous!! Here are the bullet points I found from the sermon.
Christian = Jesus & the Holy Spirit are involved
Before life can be lived the Holy Spirit must have room to be in your life
Non - Christian appreciates Jesus' life
Christians experience the love and power of Jesus unleashed in their lives
Faith should be public and practical
Faith should not be private and personal, it is personal but not private
God uses evil for good - Ephesians 1
Don't freak out when things go wrong or crazy
There is a plan
Don't destroy yourself with worry
See God's definite plan in your/our lives
Stay close to Jesus
Hind sight helps us see the plan
May not understand the definite plan until (Heaven) this life is over
The worst thing is not to die, it is to die apart from JESUS
All the famous heroes we look up to are all sinners
David in the Bible is one of the famous heroes but he was also only human and sinned ALOT
Jesus/God's presence made David great
Even the greatest among us, still DIES
Jesus is in a category all by Himself
Admiring the life of Jesus is NOT ENOUGH!!
If you don't choose JESUS you will be His enemy for all eternity and be His footstool!!
We don't do anything! Jesus did everything!!!
Repent of your sin
If our desires are conflicted, we need to repent
REMEMBER: GOD IS NOT ANGRY WITH YOU, HE LOVES YOU, HE LOVES ME.
This week is pretty warm so I hope to get to the lake with my sisters tomorrow. We have been so busy, I would LOVE a relaxing day to spend with my sisters! Kaleb has been working hard. He loves his job and we are so thankful for that! It is allowing us to do so many things and help so many people. :)
19 weeks, 1 day
19 w, 1 day
19 weeks 5 days
18 weeks, 6 days
20 weeks, 1 day
20 weeks, 1 day
19 weeks, 1 day
I wrote this when I was 6 :)
Something you may not know about me, I WAS HOMESCHOOLED!! AND WILL BE HOMESCHOOLING OUR CHILDREN!
I will be making one of these and hanging it on the wall in our house :)
Another great video I watched today!! Just incredible!!! This explains how I feel about life in America these days!! I pray often that I can be this type of Christian. Someone who is studying Jesus DAILY!! Someone that doesn't think that going to church is the answer to everything. I dont ever want to get stuck thinking that a list of do's and don'ts will get me to Heaven. Because it won't happen. In the end, if we as HUMANS think that we can come up with a list of rules and ideas that we do inside of buildings WE have built, if we do all that.. We might as well spit right on Jesus as He HUNG on the cross. We have to be careful. Because what Jesus did for us is the most important thing. It isn't a secret. It needs to be shared with everyone we encounter. But if we put our human list of rules, ABOVE JESUS than we have it all wrong. It is important that we know the difference between religion and JESUS. JESUS is the answer. ONLY HIM. No rules or regulations written by MAN get us any closer to Heaven. Anytime we mess up JESUS forgives us. The rules in the Old Testament were written by GOD so that we could all see that we could NEVER live up to being Holy and perfect enough on our own. BUT with JESUS it is about LOVE. It is about His BLOOD and sacrifice. It is about realizing that we have no way of getting to Heaven on our own!! And by thinking that we can with certain rituals and buildings, makes the sacrifice that Jesus did, insignificant in our human eyes. When that sacrifice should be THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!!
Another great video!! This is fantastic. It is such a wonderful concept he is talking about. And I can see where it is freaky because it involves being SUPER dedicated to JESUS!! And nothing else! I mean wow. He nails it with this!!
This morning, at 5:37am I put my hand on my belly and felt a poke from baby! ♥ It was one of the most incredible things I have ever experienced! I love God so much for blessing us with this son or daughter! I am gonna be putting my hand on my belly a lot now in hopes of feeling more movement!! I LOVE YOU, Baby of ours!! We are praying for you and cannot wait to teach you all about how much Jesus loves you!! Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Kaleb and I have found a nice routine at home. It took a few weeks but it's great! We have a lot to accomplish in the next few weeks. My car will be getting fixed. I am studying for my board exam. I am also slowly getting things in order in ithe house. I don't have the intense amount of energy I had pre-pregnancy! Kaleb has been working hard at work and at home. There are many things I can't do anymore; Most of which involve heavy lifting. Today we are going to plant flowers that one of Kaleb's coworkers gave us. It is a blessing. They are all perennials and I can't wait to see them in the ground! MY belly is growing daily. I am now 18 weeks, 5 days pregnant!! IT is absolutely the most incredible thing I have yet to experience. I am so excited! This journey is really bringing me closer to God. It really is just as my mom has said many times. We partner with God to bring a person into this world.. Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Right inside my uterus God crafted a soul! He brought it into existence. IT is our duty to be healthy and to be diligent to raise that child to follow Christ. I am so excited to teach this little one about God's love! We have two names picked out, one boy and one girl and the middle names. Kaleb wants to keep them a secret and I respect that wish. Everyone will find out once the baby is born.
Tomorrow we are going to the park where Kaleb proposed to me. I will be photographing my friend Rachels 3 children. I can't wait! It will be so fun!!
I was digging into my Bible a few weeks ago and God really spoke to me about worship and praising Him. These are the thoughts and verses from the quiet time spent with God. :)
Our Facebook accounts and blogs represent who we are and what we worship. I know worship is a word we associate with church. However, what we worship is the thing we allow to take up the most space in our lives & minds. It is what we will be remembered for when this life is over. John 4:23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. ..I looked up the specific meaning of the version of the word worship in Hebrrew. It means to prostrate oneself in adoration. Prostrate means to lay flat on the ground. I took that as meaning, a person is in such awe of God that they can do nothing but lay down. Acts 17:23 For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship. I even found an altar with this inscription TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. NOw what you worship as something unknown, I am going to proclaim to you.
The Hebrew word worship in Acts 17:23 has a completely different meaning. It means serve by doing service. The people spent time serving their gods and were lost and confused and Paul told them about Jesus.
Colossians 2:23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence. . . The Hebrew word used in place of the English word worship, refers to voluntary piety. Piety means to be religious or reverent. Paul is referring to just doing religious things but not actually loving people or acting better outside the church walls. This bothered Paul. He wanted people to connect their faith and life because that's what God wants. Paul says, Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Colossians 4:20-22.
Do you have someone in your life that you compare yourself to? I do. It is someone that will always be in my life. And it seems that no matter what I do. I make mistakes and this person is perfect. It is something I struggle with. Every now and then it creeps up on me pretty intensely. Usually because this person ALWAYS says all the right things without reading their Bible. Without going to church. Without relying on Jesus to help them with their lives. I do all of those things. I pray constantly. But it doesn't change that I constantly mess things up and make a fool of myself. But this person seems to constantly be in control of themselves and never over steps their bounds. Sometimes, I would like to know what the heck is wrong with me? Or if I need to read my Bible more and pray more. And just talk less and just be less myself. I don't know how to exactly explain. I pray all the time to not compare myself to this person but sometimes things happen and I just mess up. And this person is let down by me. It is so hard. And sometimes it is just plain hard to be me. I don't mean my life is hard. I mean being ME. The person that I am. I am not perfect. I definitely don't look perfect on the outside and I often don't act very well. I am loud, I freak out.. I lose my temper. I pray for these things to change. And for me to be better but man oh man, change is hard. It is easy to get discouraged. Especially, now, while I am pregnant. I feel that it has been extra hard. I have reverted to many of my old habits. And it is so annoying, I keep praying for patience and peace. But it seems the hormones are powerful. Thankfully, Kaleb is a big help with everything. He has been so kind and sweet to me even when I don't feel quite myself.. I just need to remember that the words in this photo are true. And I just simply need to rely more on Christ and talk less.
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.......... /█\ ♥/█\ Today I spent a lot of time thinking about life. And just can't believe how wonderful life can be when we choose to see the good things!! God has blessed us with so much and it is incredible!! Even though we make mistakes, God rewards us when we choose to follow Him. He sees that we choose Jesus. These days I truly do my best to follow after God. I spent far too many years being selfish. This world can easily suck you in and mess you up. It sure grabbed a hold of me. I used to be a dumb girl. I let my circumstances make me angry at God. I let the things of this world become brighter than Him. I can't take back those years. I know that now. I gave them to Jesus. I can tell that they are erased. I will never go back there. . I understand, people can't understand what we become when we find Jesus and want to become like Him. I realize they only know me as that dumb girl. I will continue to live down this straight and narrow path. I don't want to be part of the crowd and I don't want to let the world wrap it's cold dead fingers! around my neck ever again. I am enjoying the love of my Savior too much! :) ... This was just one of the things I was thinking about today. About my past and repenting for mistakes I made. And leaving them at the cross. Jesus' blood will wash away my guilt and shame. ..
Later on in the day, my mind wandered to thoughts about science and gravity. I mean wow. Look at the world around us. It is majestic and incredible. It lead my mind to wander to how things happen in life and we need to roll with the punches and make the best. We also need to understand that our choices are important. WE MATTER. Just because someone doesn't believe in God doesn't mean that Biblical principals won't still play out in their world. It is the same as gravity. a person can say gravity doesn't exist but the apple will always fall from the tree. Biblical principals still happen to people who don't fear God. That is why 'karma' and 'irony' and 'coincidences' exist.╰☆╮╰☆╮╰☆╮╰☆╮╰☆╮╰☆╮╰☆╮╰☆╮╰☆╮╰☆╮╰☆╮
I thought about friends and past relationships. Wondering where things went wrong. Or how things could have been different. I also reminisced about friendships that I would have loved to continue but the other person backed out. I just really want people to be real with me! I want them to tell me the truth. I get confused about how I am supposed to act in certain situations. I disagree with most everything society has to offer. And I just want a friend to feel the same way I do! And if that friend doesn't actually want to change or follow Jesus, well I would love it if they didn't pretend to my face that they are into it. I try so hard not to be hypocritical and to do right things! Just tell me you want to continue sinning and doing things that make God sad. Then I will let you go and stop putting my heart out there. It's hard to find friends because I don't want to drink anymore or even be around the party scene. Ugh. And I hate our culture for glorifying alcoholism. Pretty much means I am viewed as a horrible person for not wanting to be part of that culture. It also means that I get left in the dark. People keep things from me because they know I don't want to be associated with drinking parties and bars anymore. But I will let those people do what they do. And I will just be left on the outside. I also know that I have been the person at parties because it was "cool" and that means I cant tell other people they can and can't drink. I just wish people would want to stay sober and have a crazy fun time!! And that way I wouldn't feel weird when I see pictures on FB and I wouldn't feel like a big fat loser. All of that being said- This is the cost of being saved! And that is just that. :) I am glad for the few friends that God has sent me. And I am very thankful for the friends that I have right now. That pray for me and lift me up. God is good. I trust Him and know HE will provide me with everything I need.
Psalm 127:3 (NKJV)‘Behold, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward.’
And because I am pregnant I have some thoughts regarding pregnancy that I would like to share. They may sound harsh but they are my feelings and my thoughts. I know God has laid them on my heart. I get upset and sad when I see Christian women NOT trusting God through their pregnancy. I believe natural childbirth is the choice our Father in Heaven wants us to choose. YES, it hurts and it is a lot of hard work. BUT it is the way God intended. I have done my research about epidurals and pitocin (artificial labor inducer hormone). Doctors have decided that labor is something that should be medicated and women don't need to feel their contractions.. It makes me sick. I guess if you aren't claiming to follow Christ, do what you want. I mean that is your choice. But for the women who believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, well, I hold you to a higher standard. God made us to trust Him with everything. So why do we take it into our own hands and induce and force a baby to come.. simply because we "want" it to happen. Yes there are certain situations where it is necessary. But those are not the cases I am referring to. I am referring to normal regular healthy situations.. I can't wait to have babies and let my God guide me through. He has perfect timing and He knows best. It's weird how Christ following women don't give their pregnancies to Jesus also! COME ON ... 1Tim. 2:15But women will besavedthrough childbearing - if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.(Emphasis added) "The word ‘saved’ in the above verse is the Greek wordSozoand means: to save, keep safe and sound, to rescue from danger or destruction from injury or peril, to save a suffering one from perishing, (i.e. one suffering from disease, to make well, heal, restore to health) and to preserve one who is in danger of destruction.
This scripture is not saying that this is how we receive our salvation but it is a benefit of our salvation. We are saved wherever we are and we can claim the benefits of salvation at that time.
Therefore, though there are difficulties and dangers in giving birth, women will be delivered and saved from suffering, perishing and preserved from danger or destruction in childbirth if they continue in faith, charity, and holiness, with sobriety (sober-mindedness, soundness of mind, self-control)." -http://www.newlifeministries.com.au/What%20God%20Says/childbirth/childbirth.html
Genesis 3:16 ESV / 16 helpful votes To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”
This is an explanation for the above Bible verse that I found in my Bible... --->"The punishment placed on man and woman as well as sin's effect on nature, were meant to remind people of the terrible consequences of sin and cause them to trust, rely, and obey God. The consequences God pronounced on humans were meant to lead them back to dependence on God. " - Fire Bible student addition.
These are the thoughts I found on the website I listed right after this quote..."The midwives themselves said it best - "Hebrew women are not like Egyptian women." Because the Hebrew women feared God, their births were somehow different. Not only did God bless their births spiritually, but their birth practices were different. Egyptian women who were used to lying around and being waited on hand and foot gave birth in the same manner, passively lying on a bed, enduring the experience. Hebrew women, according to this passage, were vigorous throughout their births, and gave birth often with no help from anyone before the midwife arrived, or gave birth in an upright position on a birth stool if the midwife got there before the birth took place. It also stated that, even if the midwife did arrive in time for the birth, that her task was simply to "observe" them on the birth stool. She was a trained observer who watched for difficulties, but otherwise stayed out of the way. For centuries, this is the way all women of faith gave birth." -http://www.unhinderedliving.com/birthbasis.html
A quote to ponder.."When someone is pregnant, she is not “expecting a child” – she already has one. She is not “going to be a mother” – she already is a mother. The baby is not “on the way,” the baby has already arrived. If we are going to change the way society treats unborn children, we have to change the way we talk about them." -Frank Pavone, 7/7/12
We had a great weekend! My mom and I went to a Laura Ingalls pageant in Walnut Grove, MN! It was fun! I will post pictures in the days to come! But wow what a wholesome lovely God filled event. The people in that day were so faithful and loved God so much! It was incredible! They were so amazing and so hardworking. I will be writing more on this subject when I post the photos. I love the pioneer days.
Today was a great Sunday! We went to church, and hung out at my parents house. We ate yummy food and relaxed. It is nice to be together and know that we live in the same house finally. So there is no pressure of spending weekdays apart. But I wanted this blog entry to be centered around what we learned and felt at church today. We really felt like today was an important day and that we needed to pray for the people we love. So we did. Today's sermon was about Divine Healing. Not faith healing. DIVINE healing. The notes for today were fabulous! I just kept writing and writing! I liked that Pastor Keith Kerstetter explained things simply and made it easy for Kaleb to understand. I have grown up in an evangelical church so hearing about God healing people miraculously isn't anything new. But for Kaleb, well he is very interested in learning and understanding what is in the Bible and what God wants for us in this life. It warms my heart because that is one more thing we have in common. I am going to bold the quotes from the sermon this morning and give my thoughts on them. And I will bold the Bible verses that Pastor Keith Kerstetter used to illustrate his thoughts. These are His main thoughts with what I gathered today as I was listening to his sermon...
God has healed often enough so that we believe it, but not often enough that we can figure it out.
This is where we just have to believe that God knows best. If we start to question why some people have health struggles and some people don't it can drive us insane. And that is what Satan wants. He wants us to feel mad at God and doubt that God truly cares about us. And when we let those negative thoughts in Satan wins the battle in our minds.
Divine Healing: Our faith doesn't heal us, God heals us.
God chooses who to heal. We pray and God hears us. But He chooses. He has the master plan. He sees it all. We have to trust in that. Trust in His word. Trust that He knows things we do not and sees what is to come. And we do not. As humans we make things more complicated than we need to make them. When we need to just relax and let things unfold as they will. And make sure we are being faithful and including God in our life. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. Isaiah 55:8. God's mind doesn't work like ours. It says so in the previous Bible verse. We need to trust in that. He said, “If you listen carefully to the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you.” ... God promises to heal us. He may not always heal us physically but he will help us with our emotions. .
Where some people get off-track is by putting their faith in faith - NOT God.
As humans, we will mess up. We aren't perfect. We can get caught up in being perfectly faithful and doing everything right. And when things still go wrong we can then beat ourselves up and think to ourselves, we aren't faithful enough. We haven't been crossing our T's and dotting our i's correctly. Well that is nonsense. Once again, that is exactly what Satan wants. He wants us to doubt God and doubt ourselves. That is his ultimate goal. It is a strictly evil plan.
Don't put God in a box.
We LOVE to put people in boxes and keep them there. We do this with God. We all do. I know I have to work hard to remember God is NOT like my earthly father. I tend to lean towards putting God in a box that matches my dads box.
God heals the faithful. This is proof... Matthew 8:5-13 Matthew 9:20-22 Matthew 9:27-30
God also healed those with no faith. This is proof... John 5:1-9 Acts 3:1-10
God heals the unfaithful to show Himself to them. That person no longer has an excuse to NOT believe. . . God did his part in healing the person. Even though they claim He isn't real.
God is concerned with our total well being.
Our spiritual, mental and phsycial well being.
Healing is not becoming what we were, but becoming all that God intends us to be.
This is important. Because I know I fall into the trap of always wanting to be healed and go back to the old me before I was sick or before I felt stress or was sad.. But that isn't what Jesus wants. He wants us to be better than we were. To have learned from what we went through---To be different. Our faith should not be in conflict with the sovereignty of God. Sovereign: One that exercises supreme, permanent authority. I take this statement to mean that we tend to think we have control. When really God should be allowed to take the reigns of our lives. But we have free will and we have to let Him. I seriously, pray that I am letting God have control. I hope you will also.
Psalm 32 Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. 2 Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.
3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.[b]
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.
6 Therefore let all the faithful pray to you while you may be found; surely the rising of the mighty waters will not reach them. 7 You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. 9 Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. 10 Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him.
11 Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!
David is talking about his guilt in this passage. David had made many mistakes. He felt much better when he let God in and told Him his fear and let go of his guilt. We have that freedom because Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Take it to the cross and leave it there. Jesus already paid the price. NO PERSON SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL DIFFERENT!!
Isaiah 53:5
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him,and by his wounds we are healed.
Even though the enemy was defeated he wasn't evicted.
On earth, during war, a series of battles are fought and the accumulation of these battles determines who wins the war. God's war is different. At the cross Jesus defeated the enemy. The war is won, now we have battles to fight. That is the way it is in the spiritual realm. That is the way God set it up. We need to be aware of Satan. That he is lurking and waiting to strike. We need to pray. We need to do our part and do our best not to choose sin. We need to recognize that Satan can feed us negative thoughts. We need to pray them away and remember that Jesus saved us!! The answer to Satan's accusations when we are not healed is the cross.
1 Peter 2:24
24 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”
Pastor Keith told a story about a missionary who came home to find that the lights were not on in his home but he heard noises. He then saw that a python had gotten into his home. He found his gun and mortally wounded the snake by shooting it in the head. BUT the snake did not die right away. The snake began to thrash around in it's death throes. It was violent and ended up destroying the man home interior. It was an intense experience. Finally, the snake died. God compared Satan to a serpent. And this is the bottom line. Satan has been mortally wounded by the blood Jesus shed on the cross. And what we are dealing with on earth are his death throes. He thrashes around this planet, usually in our minds and makes disasters. He causes pain. He lies to us. He gets us to believe we are useless and we are worthless. He feeds us the lie that we should just end our life . It is sad that many fall victim to that lie. .The list goes on and on. But the good news is this...
Hebrews 13:8
8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
We can hold tight to that truth. That Jesus doesn't change. Everything written about Him in the Bible is true and He doesn't change. People change. Satan is unpredictable. But Jesus is NOT. He is predictable in the facts that are in the Bible. He is near and stays near. God loved us enough to send Jesus to die for our sins! We need to walk in that truth. That is what life is all about. It isn't about where we attend church. It isn't about what others think about us. It is about our actions and if they match up to God's expectations. If we mess up, confess and repent and be forgiven. THE END. That's all it takes. It is wonderful. It is a blessing and it will set you free! Remember that the love that God has for you and me is bigger and stronger than we can imagine!! Imagine having a son and letting him die so that everyone else could be forgiven of all the dumb things they will do. Cause boy do we do dumb crap!! If people hold grudges, that is their problem. Walk in the light. Walk in the love that God has for YOU!! If someone is dragging you down, pray for them. Ask God to soften their heart. Ask God to help you react properly to their abuse and to guide you. IF you have hurt someone ask for their forgiveness and give them time. But most importantly confess the wrong doing to God, take the sin to the cross and leave it there. Jesus' blood is important. We need to take it seriously. It is not a joke. IT has a divine purpose. It is to cleanse us of the wrong things we have done. So we can walk in the light just as Jesus is in the light.
1 John 1:7-10
7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[a] sin. 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
James 5:14
14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. We need to pray more than we do. In this country we get comfortable. There is no immanent dangers. So we get cozy in our existence. I know I do. I feel today that I need to pay more attention and I need to pray more. I will make it a morning and nightly habit and pray when I am driving. I often forget to do that.
"The greatest tragedy is not unanswered prayer but unoffered prayer". F.B. Meyer
When Cindy met Rob, she knew that even though he attended church, he didn't share her convictions about premarital sex. Rob thought it was OK—and even good for dating couples to engage in—and Cindy believed it was wrong from a Christian perspective.
As their friendship progressed, Cindy and Rob's opposing viewpoints caused some hot debates. It also forced them both to take a second look at their convictions. As a result, Cindy developed a deeper understanding of truth, and Rob was forced to face the lies he'd always believed.
If you're like Cindy or Rob, and you've taken a stand for (or against) premarital sex, but you're not sure why, here are some things to consider.
Scripture is Outdated, Right?
Like many singles, Rob thinks the Scriptures on sexual purity are outdated and archaic. "Those parts of the Bible aren't relevant to today," he told Cindy. "After all, when the Scriptures were written, the people during that time got married when they were teens; so they didn't have to struggle with sexual temptation like we do now."
In response to Rob's argument, Cindy found Scriptures about sexual purity and showed them to him. When Cindy read 1 Corinthians 6:9, 2 Corinthians 12:21, Galatians 5:19, Hebrews 13:4 and Deuteronomy 22:13-28, all which condemn sex before marriage, she asked Rob, "Are these Scriptures relevant to today?" "Nope," Rob responded.
"Do you have a pair of scissors?" Cindy asked.
"Why?
"Because I think we should cut those Scriptures out. After all, if they're not true because people can't control their desires, why not completely eliminate them? After all, we can just pick and choose the parts of Scripture that we want to believe on sexual purity, right? Give me your scissors," she said.
"You're crazy," Rob responded.
Crazy or not, Cindy had made her point—there are holes in Rob's it's-not-true-because-people-can't-control-their-desires theology. Why? Because, if his beliefs were based on truth, they would stand up in every circumstance, but they don't.
For example, if sex before marriage is okay because people supposedly can't control themselves, then it must be okay to engage in pornography, too, right? After all, the temptation to watch and participate in porn abounds like it didn't in Bible times.
Not surprisingly, when Cindy asked Rob if it was OK to engage in pornography, his theology changed. "Pornography isn't okay because it's damaging to the people who are doing it, and it's not very Christian."
Why does Rob have a schizophrenic view of purity and of the Bible's commandments?
Additionally, if scriptures in the Bible became untrue because people can't control their desires, then we'd also have to cut out the commandments on stealing, lying, cheating and having affairs.
Sure enough, there are holes in Rob's sex-before-marriage theology, just like there would be holes in his Bible if Cindy cut it up.
Doesn't Sex Produce Intimacy?
During their discussions about premarital sex, Rob insisted that it was good to engage in sex with a dating partner because "it brings you closer."
Cindy believes that this is true, and not true. On one hand, the Bible says that sex causes "two people to become one." Therefore, it's more than just a physical act, it's also a spiritual encounter (Mark 10:6-9).
Additionally, Dr. Patricia Love, the author of The Truth About Love, writes that a feeling of intimacy is created by a "chemical cocktail" that is produced in the brain during sex and stays with each person for up to 24 hours after intercourse. Perhaps this physiological bonding is what Rob was referring to.
On the flip side, having sex is no guarantee that the deep emotional intimacy that everyone longs for will develop.
Alice Fryling, in an article titled, Why Wait for Sex? writes:
"Genital sex is an expression of intimacy, not the means to intimacy. True intimacy springs from verbal and emotional communion. True intimacy is built on a commitment to honesty, love and freedom. True intimacy is not primarily a sexual encounter. Intimacy, in fact, has almost nothing to do with our sex organs. A prostitute may expose her body, but her relationships are hardly intimate."
Some experts even report that premarital sex short circuits the emotional bonding process. Donald Joy, a writer for Christianity Today, sited a study of 100,000 women that linked "early sexual experience with dissatisfaction in their present marriages, unhappiness with the level of sexual intimacy and the prevalence of low self-esteem."
So what does this mean? If Rob tries to convince Cindy, or any woman, that sex will actually help their relationship, she might want to think again before consenting. While premarital sex does produce a short-lived chemical cocktail in the brain, there is no guarantee that it will produce long-term emotional closeness or relational satisfaction.
(this is a sad statistic in the video to the left)
Can't Sex Help You Determine Compatibility?
Rob told Cindy he felt it was unreasonable to expect him to abstain from sex before marriage because no one would buy a car without test driving it; so he couldn't imagine committing to marriage without taking a "sex test drive."
When Cindy suggested to Rob that his "test drive" mentality could lead him to compare his wife's sexual performance with his other partners, he denied it. "No, I wouldn't," he adamantly said.
However, his logic is faulty. Here's why: If it was true that Rob wouldn't struggle with comparison, why would he need to "test drive" anything? After all, if he'd never had multiple partners, he would automatically think his wife the best. For example, the man who hasn't ever seen or driven more than one car doesn't know what other cars are like; therefore he would be satisfied with his automobile.
Partners can also feel threatened if they think their mate could be comparing them with previous partners.
When Cindy randomly asked 10 women at work if they would be worried that their husband was comparing them if he'd had intercourse with multiple women before marriage, 80 percent of them said yes.
This provides a strong argument to abstain from sex before marriage to protect the emotional safety that your spouse will need to feel in marriage.
Hope and Restoration After Premarital Sex
Perhaps you're asking, "What if, like Rob, I'm guilty of sexual sin?"
The first thing to remember is that no sexual sin is beyond God's forgiveness. Thankfully, He doesn't withhold forgiveness or grace from those who ask for it. I John 1:9 promises that if you confess your sins, that He is faithful to forgive and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Note: This includes all sin, and does not exclude sexual sin. Psalm 103: 12 also promises, "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions [sins] from us."
In addition to forgiveness, God wants you to embrace His grace that will help you move forward in life and embrace the promises He has for you with joy. In spite of your choices, God wants to bring you relational fulfillment.
Current movies, books, television shows and magazines are full of impressions and suggestions about sex. We have examples all around us of couples engaging in premarital and extra-marital sex. There's no way around it—today's culture fills our minds with hundreds of reasons to just go ahead and have sex outside of marriage. But as Christians, we don't want to simply follow everyone else. We want to follow Christ and know what the Bible says about sex outside of marriage.
10 Reasons Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage
Reason #1 - God Tells Us Not to Have Sex Outside of Marriage
In the seventh of God's Ten Commandments, he instructs us not to have sex with anyone other than our spouse. It is clear that God forbids sex outside of marriage. When we obey God, he is pleased. He honors our obedience by blessing us.
Deuteronomy 28:1-3 If you fully obey the LORD your God ... [he] will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God ...(NIV)
God has a reason for giving us this command. First and foremost, he knows what's best for us. By obeying him, we trust God to look out for our best interests.
Reason #2 - We Won't Miss Out on the Blessing of the Wedding Night
There's something very special about a couple's first time. In this physical act the two become one flesh. Yet it is more than just physical oneness — a spiritual union takes place. God planned for this exclusive experience of discovery and pleasure to happen only within the intimacy of marriage. If we don't wait, we miss out on a very special blessing from God.
1 Corinthians 6:16 Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." (The Message)
Reason #3 - We Will Be Spiritually Healthier
If we live as carnal or fleshly Christians, we will seek to gratify the desires of the flesh and live only to please ourselves. If we live this way, the Bible says we cannot please God. We will be miserable under the weight of our sin. As we continue to feed our fleshly desires, our spirit will grow weak and our relationship with God will be destroyed. Complacency with sin leads to worse sin, and eventually, spiritual death.
Romans 8:8,13 Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live ...(NIV)
Reason #4 - We Will Be Physically Healthier
This one is a no-brainer. If we refrain from sex outside of marriage, we will be protected from the risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases.
1 Corinthians 6:18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. (NLT)
Reason #5 - We Will Be Emotionally Healthier
One reason God tells us to honor marriage and keep the marriage bed pure has to do with baggage. We carry baggage into our sexual relationships. Memories from the past, emotional scars and unwanted mental images can defile our thoughts and make the marriage bed less than pure. Certainly God can forgive the past, but that doesn't mean we're free from the baggage that can linger in our minds.
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.(NIV)
Reason #6 - We Will Show Consideration for Our Partner's Well-Being
If we put our partner's needs above our own and consider their spiritual well-being, we'll be compelled to wait for sex. We, like God, will want what's best for them.
Ephesians 5:2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.(NLT) Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;(NASB)
Reason #7 - Waiting is a Test of True Love
Love is patient. That's about as simple as it gets. We can learn the sincerity of our partner's love by their willingness, or lack thereof, to wait.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking ...(NIV)
Reason #8 - We Will Have No Negative Consequences to Deal With
There are always consequences to sin. Some of those effects can be devastating. An unwanted pregnancy, a decision to have an abortion or place a child for adoption, broken relationships with family and friends — these are just a few of the possible outcomes we face when we choose to have sex outside of marriage. We should be sure to consider the snow ball effect of sin. And what if the relationship does not last? Hebrews 12:1 shows that sin hinders our lives and easily entangles us. We will be much better off if we avoid these negative consequences.
Reason #9 - We Will Keep Our Christian Testimony Intact
We don't set a very good example of godly living when we disobey God. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 4:12 to "be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." (NIV)
In Matthew 5:13 Jesus compares his followers to "salt" and "light" when we represent him in the world. When we no longer shine the light of Christ, when we lose our Christian testimony, we lose our "saltiness." In other words, we become flavorless and bland. We lose our ability to attract the world to Christ. Luke 14:34-35 puts it strongly, saying that salt without saltiness is worthless, not even fit for the manure pile.
Reason #10 - We Won't Settle For Less Than God's Perfect Will
When we choose to have sex outside of marriage, we settle for less than God's perfect will — for ourselves and for our partner. And if we do this, we don't know what we might end up with. Perhaps we'll end up in a miserable marriage.
So, here's some food for thought: If your partner wants sex before marriage, consider this as a warning sign about their spiritual condition. If you are the one who wants sex before marriage, consider this as a warning sign of your own spiritual condition.
