Psalm 32

Boy oh boy did David write beautiful words! Psalms always touches me! 

If you need a pick me up today, go read Psalm 32! If we repent. We are forgiven. We are covered. Our sins are not counted. And it all happens in a moment! And we don't EVER have to worry that we will lose our forgiveness! It CANNOT be undone by any future mistakes! Any new mistake, just repent and keep moving forward. Alone our hearts with Jesus and all of this gets easier! #artoffaith

I want to be...

Who do I want to be? Why do we care what others think? Where have I gone wrong? How can I continue to change for the better? Am I too truthful? Why can't others see how wrong the world is? 

These questions have been on my mind For a few months. And I have come to one simple conclusion::

Without a solid guiding force to lean on, life can be confusing. 

We look to other humans for self worth, acceptance, love, understanding and comfort. And when that doesn't work, because humanity is flawed, we turn to activities and worldy things. Or. Ice versa, we try things first & then we try relationships. Buying stuff will fill the void in our lives. Doing what other people are doing will make us happy. Following the masses will bring us to a place of contentment. People can't see how wrong the world's ideas are because they are looking at life through a dirty lense. They see what they want to see. And they ignore the evil around them. We ignore the evil around us. I've done it. 

 It is easy to get caught up in the world. The world tells you, stuff will make you happy. It tells you, Spending your money on new shoes and fancy baby accessories will fill the mile wide gap in your heart. Our society pushes us to one up each othe & To go out and buy the latest and greatest THING. 

Not happy?

Maybe a new car will solve that lack of happiness? 

Still not happy? 

Maybe if you change your hair color you will be happy? 

Still not happy? 

Perhaps, wearing the latest fashions will fill your heart's desires? 

Still not happy? 

Perhaps, you aren't doing fun things. Go out and party. That should help. 

Didn't help!? 

Try it again. 

And again. 

Oh heck, try it one more time. 

Just keep doing everything others are doing. It may only be temporary but you will feel better in the moment. And as soon as you start to feel unhappy, buy a new outfit and go out with your friends. Or better yet, a relationship will make you happy. That ONE PERSON will solve all your problems. Put all of your love and faith in the hands of another human being. They will never let you down. They will never make mistakes or hurt you. 

It is so apparent how NOT true ^ that is. 

People will hurt you. 

Things will not make you happy. 

REALITY CHECK! 

The only guarantee we have in this life doesn't have anything to do with what the world says. The world will lie to you. 

We have to be sure we KNOW who we put our trust in. 

Jesus said, he will never leave us not forsake us! 

God knows the deepest darkest parts of us & He loves us anyways. 

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

^ That is one of my favorite Bible verses. 

It reminds me of how VAST God's love is and how deep his arms of Grace reach. They reach farther than we can imagine. They hold the world!  

It isn't about how often we attend church or what service we perform at church. It is about our hearts. It is about MY HEART. When I wake up in the morning, am I thankful? Am I mindful of God's love and do I show that love to those around me? Or, am I so caught up in appearances and the latest fad or what celebrities are doing or what happened on Teen Mom (by the way I don't watch it I've just been seeing advertisements EVERYWHERE) that I miss out on what God has in store for my life and my family? We all have temptations. They aren't the same. But the attitude in our heart is the same.  We want to leave God out and do things our own way. Or we say, well this one thing isn't that bad, it doesn't hurt anyone else. We justify our choices to others and to ourselves and even to God Himself. 

I don't want to get so caught up in what others think that I lose sight of what is important. The car I drive, the house I have, the clothes I wear, the job I work, the toys Elijah has, etc. NONE of that is important. 

What is important?

Staying healthy. And for me it doesn't just mean eating right. I have to stay healthy in mind, body and spirit. I have to dig into my Bible. Daily plugging in to God's word. Letting it permeate my soul and allowing it's truth to wash over my heart. I have to listen to some good Jesus music. It always sets my mind at ease and pulls me down to earth while keeping my eyes on Jesus. 

I do this in many different ways. Today, I am focusing on Romans 5:8. Throughout the day, I contemplate what it means. I go look up what other theologians have to say about it. Most importantly, I meditate on it in my heart and mind. 

Ghis morning my contemplating lead me to this::

God didn't send Jesus to die on the cross AFTER mankind had repented and apologized and finished their check list of good deeds. God made a plan to save us BEFORE we ever stopped our bad behaviors. God sent Jesus to earth while we were YET sinners. While we were still actively sinning. (When I say we, I mean humankind as a collective.) The fact that it isn't up to us to make ourselves righteous and holy, lifts a big weight off of our shoulders. There is no magic set of steps to holiness. We can't ever be good enough apart from Christ Jesus. And when we mess up, simply repent to God and instantly you are made white as snow! There isn't a process or a long list of duties. You don't have to go telling everyone of your sins. It is good to have someone to hold you accountable. But it should be someone who loves Jesus and loves you. But repentance itself is a very simple process. 

Believe in Jesus and what He did on the cross. 

Repent 

Forgiven 

Walk in the light as He is in the light 

Any sins can all be washed away in an instant. 

Then we are free to continue::

 to fight the good fight. 

To mend broken relationships. 

To share Jesus with the world. 

To forgive. 

To give grace to the undeserving. 

God is Holy. He alone is Holy. 

We strive to be like Jesus and HIS holiness rubs off on us. 

That is my ultimate heart's  desire. 

I want to be like Jesus. 

Like Jesus

http://youtu.be/c1QE-DgvR80

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!” And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke. So I said: “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The Lord of hosts.” Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth with it, and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; Your iniquity is taken away, And your sin purged.” Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” And He said, “Go, and tell this people: ‘Keep on hearing, but do not understand; Keep on seeing, but do not perceive.’ “Make the heart of this people dull, And their ears heavy, And shut their eyes; Lest they see with their eyes, And hear with their ears, And understand with their heart, And return and be healed.” Then I said, “Lord, how long?” And He answered: “Until the cities are laid waste and without inhabitant, The houses are without a man, The land is utterly desolate, The Lord has removed men far away, And the forsaken places are many in the midst of the land. But yet a tenth will be in it, And will return and be for consuming, As a terebinth tree or as an oak, Whose stump remains when it is cut down. So the holy seed shall be its stump.” (Isaiah 6:1-13 NKJV)

Happy Birthday, Kaleb!

There is a saying, "a wife is the glory of her husband". That saying is true. A husband should support, trust, and lift up his wife. You do that everyday. I truly know that I am more confident and positive because of your love and kindness. Thank you, for, working hard to be a good provider. Thank you, for, calming me down when I get upset. Thank you, for, always smiling. I say this all the time, but it's worth repeating. You have made my dreams a reality. I get to stay home and raise our son! God's reality is far better than anything my brain could imagine. I am so glad He allowed my broken road to lead me to you. I knew you would be a great father but seeing it day in and day out is incredible. Watching you and Elijah develop such a beautiful friendship brings more joy to my heart than words can articulate. I love that you lead and guide our family with love, joy, tenderness, and a little bit of silliness.
We love you!

The. Cross. †

The bunny stuff is cute but what is most important is what Jesus did for us upon that cross. It isn't that we worship the cross. It is that we worship Jesus because of the sacrifice he made for us. Using the cross as a symbol to remind us of that sacrifice is not idolatrous. It is a simple symbol of God's mighty love.

 

Happy Birthday, Amanda!

So, it turns out that The Lord has given me a nifty little gift. The gift of being able to express myself through writing. I have decided that I will do my best to use this gift to glorify God. And He has shown me that to do that, I need to focus on the positive things about the people in my life. And write about those things.

 

Today is the Birthday of a very dear friend of mine. She is the first friend I have made through social media. All because another mutual friend introduced us. 

That was nearly two years ago! I can't believe it! I am excited that our children will be able to know each other for years to come!

Amanda and I have grown close because of our mutual love for Jesus. That mutual love permeates our choices and our view of life. It keeps us grounded. That love helps us with our insecurities. It helps us find our way when there seems to be no way. Friendships like this, for me, have been rare. But they are the best kind of friendships. This friendship contains two people who recognize that humanity is flawed and we need a Savior. 

Michael W. Smith sang it best "friends are friends forever if the Lord's The Lord of them". 

Yeah, corny, I know. But I'm feeling sappy. 

Amanda is many things. She is hardworking and kind. I always admire horse owners. It takes a special type of person to own those majestic animals. They need a lot of care and attention. They need toughness mixed with kindness. I always thought I wanted a horse until I took lessons and had to DO the work. 

Amanda does all she can to be a light to those around her. She is always there to listen when I need someone to talk. I do my best to do the same for her. She has talked me through several different situations. 

She takes her role as a mother and wife very seriously. E & baby #2 are very blessed to have a mother like Amanda. 

She is prayerful and loving. And puts others ahead of herself. She takes the time to think about things from another perspective and is not quick to judge. 

I feel as though we have been friends for a lifetime.

 I've never been a believer in romantic soul mates. But I do believe that there are ordained "soul mate" friendships. People that just click together. These friendships hold the test of time. 

True friends are hard to come by in this world. I feel beyond blessed to know Amanda. I am so thankful to God, for bringing us together. She has been an answer to many of my prayers. 

When friendships end badly, I tend to blame myself and internalize everything. Through my friendship with Amanda (and a few others), God has helped me to see that there isn't anything wrong with me. It is nice to know I can have an open heart in our friendship and it isn't going to get stomped on. Because I can trust my friend, Amanda with my feelings. 

It is a beautiful feeling to know that Amanda is my friend. 

A beautiful, sweet and loving friend! 

Happy Birthday, 

Amanda! 

I love you! 

PS: I couldn't decide on just one photo so I added them all! 💗

Parenting is hard but it isn't a death sentence

Matt said everything I thought about that ridiculous viral video. 

I sleep. Last night I slept 5 hours in a row and then 4 more hours. 

I also ate four meals yesterday and made a few crochet projects.

And my job allows me to shop and clean and I don't stand all the time. I sit a lot. I sit and read books. I sit and play games and do puzzles. I sit and breastfeed. We snuggle and lay around sometimes. Especially when E was a tiny baby. It was all encompassing and hard but it wasn't torture. It was amazing and beautiful. And every day is beautiful. 

 

http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/04/15/motherhood-isnt-tougher-than-fatherhood-but-maybe-we-should-all-stop-competing/

The next time...

The next time you go to a strip club or watch porn, remember 95% of women in the sex industry were molested as children. 

http://www.wearecherished.com/resources-2/statistics/

»--►Young Living ◀--«

I have decided to become a wholesaler of Young Living Essential Oils!

I am very excited about this! It is a new adventure and it is something to help the health of my family (and yours)!
I have been using lavender and tea tree oil for several years. And now that we are incorporating other oils into our daily life, I have seen a change.
Last week, I was beginning to have white spots on my tonsils. So I asked the group what I should do, and they recommended using one drop of lemon oil and one drop of thieves oil in hot water. And drink it as I would a cup of tea. And I did this one time and the white spots disappeared. They have not returned. I continue to use the tea mixture every day and I have not gotten sick. It has been miraculous! In the past, if I started to get white spots, I would then get a fever, headache and sore throat; the usual flu symptoms. But this time, while using the oils, I have not. My husband and son both had the influenza A and I did not get it. I had just purchased the oils in time to protect myself from the sickness. Oh, how I wish I had the oils prior to the two of them getting influenza A. But now I have them and will continue using them for years to come!
I am so glad God created oils to help us. The more we can eliminate toxins from our systems, the better!

If you join as a wholesaler, there is a community of people that you will be connected with and you will have access to all of their advice via Facebook groups.  

If you are interested in Young Living Essential Oils email me and I can help you out! 

jenni.holz625@gmail.com
Just put "Young Living" in the subject line!

OR
find me on
 Instagram: @mamaholzhauer
OR 
Twitter @mamaholzhauer

This is the premium starter kit.
Kit includes: Everyday Oils collection (Everyday Oils Essential Oil Collection includes: 
1 - 5 ml Joy
1 - 5 ml Frankincense
1 - 5 ml Lemon
1 - 5 ml Lavender
1 - 5 ml Peppermint
1 - 5 ml Purification
1 - 5 ml Panaway
1 - 5 ml Peace & Calming®
1 - 5 ml Thieves®
1 - 5 ml Valor®),
Home Diffuser, Welcome to Young Living booklet, Essential Oils at a Glance user’s guide, Distributor Resource Guide, S.E.E.D. Sharing for Success booklet, Stress Away 5-ml, AromaGlide Roller Fitment, two Lavender Sample Packets, two Peppermint Sample Packets, two Peace & Calming Sample Packets, two Lemon Sample Packets, two Thieves Sample Packets, Sample Packet Business Cards, two NingXia Red 2-oz. samples, Distributor Agreement, Product Guide and Product Price List.

I decided to make a small shelf to hold my oils. Can't wait to add a second shelf in the weeks to come! :)

These are the oils that come with the starter kit. If you look at peppermint and lemon, that is what the oils look like unopened. 

PAN AWAY is amazing! 

Three of my most favorite oils. Peace and calming is diffused at night time in our house. Thieves is diffused when we aren't feeling well. Joy is diffused in the mid-morning along with lemon sometimes, if I feel tired. 

My husband uses Valor often

Thieves is my go to! It's the oil that saved me from getting sick. 

Peppermint helped my 15 month old's couch and stuffy nose. 

This oil is good when you know you have a long drive and my husband uses it in the mornings before work. 

These are three oils I LOVE the smell of when mixed together in the diffuser. I can't get enough! 

15 months //

The boys had coughs so the clinic made them wear masks. So funny. 

Where has the time gone?

Seriously? 

Elijah turned 15 months April 2!! I can't believe it! It's unreal. 

He is a handful but so much fun. 

He wakes up smiling. He goes to bed smiling. He smiles all the time. 

He has several different smiles too. I can tell when he's being mischievous or when he's being flirty. 

The last 3 weeks he has started pouting. It takes all of my concentration to hold back the laughter cause he just looks so cute. He plods off after I take something from him or say no to him. He goes over to our live seat and leans on the cushion bent over with his head down. Then he slowly peaks up to see if anyone is watching him with a twinkle in his black pearly eyes. And sometimes he has a slight cheeky grin. But I grit my teeth and don't make a peep or a facial expression. I don't want him to get the wrong idea. Pouting isn't a joke. He sure knows how to lay it on thick. 

Elijah has been fighting sleep. So we have been using essential oils to calm him and massage and basically wearing him out real good. I knew spring would be hard because he wants to be outside every second. But it's been chilly and E has been battling a cold. So I'm careful not to over exert him. 

Luckily car rides still knock him out cold. So for nap time, now that my car is fixed, I strap him in and we drive and he falls asleep.  

Side note:: my husband and dad are amazing mechanical geniuses! 

The timing belt broke and after replacing that found that it was not making compression in cylinder 4 which meant it had bent a valve. So they decided to get all new valves, cams, lifter and valve stems. And they installed them all! Amazing! 

Back to regular schedules programming::

Elijah is not saying many words. But if you say, say _____. He attempts a sound. He says::

"puh puh" for picture. Means he wants to take a selfie usually. Or sometimes he just wants my phone which is a no no. 

"Ma ma" when he wants to nurse or when he's hurt. 

"DDAAH" is daddy. He runs to the door throughout the day and gets a sad look on his face and wants Kaleb. 

"Aah aa aah" is what a monkey says. He won't say the Ooo part of "Ooo oo Aaahh Aaahh". But he's got the end part down pat. 

He signs the motion for please which is him rubbing my tummy or shirt. Sometimes he says "pleh" and rubs. 

It's the only sign language word that stuck. I tried hungry and food and I am still using them but he just giggles at me and doesn't mimic. He only mimics please. I am also signing thank you. But he just stares at me likes, you're crazyyyy, mom. 

He enjoys Legos and little people toys. 

He loves his puppy Scout. But sometimes he gets upset and throws him. And then pouts when I say, no throwing your puppy. 

He is really coming into his own little person and it's so fun to see him discover his world. 

He has been down to one nap a day since November. But I will take one nap over none. 

Thanks to Young Living "Peace and Calming" oil, Elijah mellows out a little better. But he does get easily energized. 

We are still nursing strong. About every 4-5 hours. And Elijah eats with me every meal. 

He loves applesauce and French fries. 

He loves pizza. 

He loves graham crackers and peanut butter. --Just like his mama. 

He hates touching slimy foods so he uses a fork and spoon very nicely for a 15 mo old. 

So far his favorite food has been my moms chicken and potato creamy soup. He can't get enough!! Literally, he ate over 3 cups of it for one meal. But it's so healthy, I just let him eat it slowly until he was as full. 

He also thoroughly enjoys spaghetti and I'm so glad! It's my go to meal of noice! My favorite food on the planet. Original family recipe for spaghetti sauce and linguine noodles. YUM! And Elijah loves it too! 

He's had a little bit of hamburger, chicken and a tiny bit of venison jerky from the deer Kaleb shot in the fall. But that's all for meat so far. 

We are resting him for allergies because he had a hire of fish and through up everywhere. I want to be safe and make sure he's okay. 

I could write forever. 

But I will just abruptly stop here. 

Elijah is a gift. I am beyond words that God entrusted me with this tiny human. I always daydream about Elijah forming in my womb. As God was knitting his soul together and forming his tiny perfect body, I was praying and waiting to meet him. God surpassed any of my dreams. Reality is better than any dream I could muster up in my mind. 

I can't wait to teach Elijah all about Jesus and see him come to love Jesus as much as Kaleb and I do. 

We are blessed. 

Love you all!