Life ending. Life beginning.

My Grandfather passed away Saturday February 23, 2013. He was a wonderful man and we will all miss him dearly. I took E (our son) to South Carolina last week to visit everyone and to attend the funeral and memorial service. It was an intense week. I quickly posted things to my Facebook that I wanted to write in this blog entry. So here are those thoughts. This next paragraph is word for word what I said at the memorial service. Each of us grandchildren said something. Well, my two cousins A and N danced a beautiful dance to the song "I can only imagine" by MercyMe. It was beautiful. 
Popop was fun. As children we looked forward to every visit. It meant bumpy chicken, pizza and lots of funny faces! He made us laugh and his lap was always open. He would pretend to be asleep and when we would try to poke his face he'd wake up and be a monster. This went on for hours. In my adult life he gave me advice about houses, politics, the stock market and men. I am glad he was able to meet my husband and see that I took his advice about not waiting around for a man to commit. I loved to see him and Nona and how much they loved one another. Their love has been a great example to me of how a married couple should be. Together they were always laughing and kissing each another. They have a love story written by God that beats any sappy romance movie. It was real and tender and beautiful. He had a kind and warm heart. The Bible says, in 
Romans 8:38-39 "³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." I look forward to seeing Popop again one day in the presence of our Savior.

"We need to be conscious of every choice we make. Each and every decision, word, and action need not be wasted." If I had to wonder where Popop went after his life on earth was over, I would be incredibly devastated right now. Instead, I know he loved Jesus and believed in the beauty of the cross. Popop told Nona that he knew he didn't deserve the forgiveness and salvation but he was grateful for it. And he told her they will see each other again. What a true example of "til death due us part." I know I am always posting things about faith and God and Jesus. And it wasn't until this week that the finality of earthly life truly hit me. I just want to grab people by their shoulders and make them see how precious life is and how we shouldn't waste one single moment being selfish and ignoring God. I spent far too long sleep walking through life. That time is gone now. Every single person needs a Savior and needs forgiveness and healing, including me. Take hold of that love and sacrifice.

"When the heartache hits like a hurricane that can never change who You are. We trust in who You are. Even if the healing doesn't come and life falls apart, dreams are still undone. You are God, You are good forever faithful one. Even if the healing, even if the healing doesn't come. You are God and we will bless You as the good and faithful one.."-- Kutless

I have been praying for new revelation and new insight into my faith. Because I have felt like I've been standing still. Part of it is because being a mother is all encompassing. We are all here grieving in our own way. I have been praying for change. I want this experience to change me and bring me closer to Christ. I seriously now understand salvation on a different level because a friend explained this to me.-- God lets us feel what it is to lose a loved one. He lets us feel that feeling because that's how he feels about EVERY single person that doesn't know Him or denies Him. We are separated from God unless we've chosen to accept forgiveness that is offered to us because Jesus died on the cross. And just as we miss and wish we could speak to our deceased loved one, God wishes we would talk to Him because He misses us. I never understood that depth of the sorrow that God feels until this week. There is no turning back to who I was last week. And I pray that whoever reads this thinks long and hard about their future and life. The gravity of death is heavy and it is not a joke.

Popop looking at a slideshow of his great grandson, Elijah. He saw him and said "he looks like a fighter" "his name is little chubby." I am thankful for technology without it, Popop would not have seen Elijah.

My sister and Popop 1990

We dedicated our son at church February 24, 2013. 2 weeks before that, there was a snowstorm & it was rescheduled. We promised to raise him to love Jesus. On this same day we were mourning the loss of Popop {our Grandpa}. I believe God worked this out to be a joyous thing amidst a sad thing, for that I am grateful. It is/was a comfort and a reminder that God knows best. 
"You give and take away. You give and take away. But my heart will choose to say, Blessed be the name of the Lord! Blessed be Your glorious name!"