Mine

In the past several weeks, people have been giving me a hard time.  

I have strong beliefs about many things. 

I can have these opinions and beliefs. HOWEVER-- It isn't my job to judge you. If my beliefs make you feel guilty. I don't apologize. Look within yourself and find the root cause of your own guilt. 

:::: I am :::::

•a Bible believing Christ follower. The Bible is the only written word of God. Jesus is the son of God!

•unapologetically PROLIFE-- life starts at CONCEPTION! No matter what! 

•Pro natural labor-- drug free non augmented labor and delivery. Because it is SCIENTIFICALLY BETTER FOR YOUR BABY! The baby does get some of the narcotic drug going into the epidural. The doctor will say it doesn't. But in nursing school, behind the scenes in the hospital, the nurses and doctors talk about "epi babies". We had to chart on the babies appearance and activity after birth. And when we noticed the baby was seeming sleepy and out of it-- Our teacher said "oh yes that's what happens to epidural babies. But don't say that to the mother if she asks." 

C R E E P Y much? 

•pro breastfeeding! It is a public health issue!! Breastmilk has been proven to be the best for BABY! Yeah, it takes effort to develop a nursing relationship. But it is WORTH IT! 

These are my beliefs! If you disagree and don't want a discussion, just tolerate my beliefs. I can say them without forcing them on anyone. 

 And I enjoy sharing advice and having discussions with people who disagree. I also GREATLY enjoy coming alongside someone who needs help in any area that I have knowledge and experience in; Whether it's pregnancy advice, birth advice, breastfeeding advice etc. 

it is my pleasure to use my knowledge and experience to help someone else's life be better. 

But here is what I don't like. I don't like fakers and liars. Don't tell me you believe in the things I believe, when in actuality YOU DON'T. 

It is my fault that I get my heart set on people succeeding and being selfless in their actions. But that's who I am. I can't help but care about the well being of people's souls and the health of women and babies. 

If you don't want to breastfeed, don't tell me you do and in turn I pour out lots of advice.

Don't tell me you want a natural birth. Or that  you plan on standing up to your doctor when you really weren't ever going to do that. 

Don't tell me you want to follow Jesus when you really just want to feel forgiven for the sins you commit on the weekends. 

I have now had a handful of women use me for advice and support. The one that hurts the most is support about a life lived for Jesus. 

And when this happens, there is always awkward behavior. I am somehow the bad guy in the story for having such strong beliefs. 

I am left to feel hurt and disrespected. And then somehow I am deemed judgmental. Even though, I clearly represent myself as someone who has strong convictions on the aforementioned subjects. And it shouldn't be a surprise when I am disappointed. I hate to see people fall victim to their own sin. I hate to see the medical system win and I hate to see the formula companies win. 

You'd think I would've learned after the first time someone used me for support and advice. But I am (as my husband would say) too trusting. If someone says outloud that they want to follow Jesus I get very excited for that. I can't help but be excited for the future. 

And same goes for having babies and breastfeeding. But loving for Jesus is much more important than anything to do with pregnancy and delivery. It's your soul. It is eternity. 

However, I have to continue living this way. For me, there is no other way. Because this way I have no regrets. If this means that people don't like my beliefs, so be it. I see now that life isn't about pleasing people or getting along. There will be people who disagree and treat you badly because of it. There will be people who block you from their social accounts and lave you feeling like the worst person ever. 

It is on EACH INDIVIDUAL. They make their choices. I make my choices. We can't force one another to do anything.

 I have to remember that they made their choices. And just happened to stomp on my feelings in the process. I have to do my best to pray and let my hurt feelings and disappointments go. 

This post is meant to be broad. A totality of life experiences. I've been feeling attacked on several different social media accounts. And it has made me feel like my posts have been offensive. 

This is my blog. Where I share my raw feelings. MY FEELINGS! MINE. I am not calling anyone out or anything. I am simply stating how I feel about MY LIFE. 

 I tend to pour my heart out. I love open and honest people. I love a good conversation. I love meeting people with my same views and beliefs. Especially people with the same faith in God Almighty. 

But it's a rotten experience when someone uses you to get through something or uses you to make themselves feel better in the moment. They like the support and love. Then their actions don't match our discussions. They say they want to have Jesus in their life. Then the next Friday they get drunk and hook up with some dude. I believe it is because they were always planning on doing what they wanted. 

I have never lived hypocritically. When I didn't want God in my life, I didn't fake Christian. I lived a worldly life. And since I realized I needed God, and dedicated my life to Jesus, I haven't wavered from going hard after Jesus' truth. 

And when I said I was going to have a homebirth and breastfeed for as long as the child wants, I MEANT those things. I don't speak, write or text things that I don't mean.  

But as I said before, these are my beliefs. I believe them.

 ME. 

Here is the kicker:: 

You have your own judgement day coming and you live your own life. I don't answer for your sins or your choices. Jesus paid the price for them in the cross. Accept that or don't. That's your deal. I care about the choices people are contemplating. But frankly, once you make your choices. It isn't up to me to tell you, yay or nay. I never ruled your life. You have free agency over it. 

PLEASE DON'T LEAD ME TO BELIEVE YOU HAVE THE SAME BELIEFS AS ME. 

IT'S MANIPULATIVE AND HURTFUL. 

AND I AM NOT THE KIND OF PERSON WHO HANDLES THAT KIND OF WEIRD, FAKE BEHAVIOR.

I want to see people find Jesus. I want to see their lives changed. I love to hear happy stories of triumph and victory over sin through the blood of Jesus. It is the most important thing I believe. It trumps everything else. And because of Jesus, each one of us can choose to walk free from sin. 

He has given me my voice. And the past month. I have felt like I am not free to say my feelings about my life. But I want to fight those feelings. And keep on going. 

He is the way, the Truth and the Life.