“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior......”
Isaiah 43:2-3
River's journey earth side taught me many things.
Patience
Trust
Self control
It starts, May 31, 2016 at 1:30 am. I was 40 + 2. I woke with some light cramping and intense nausea. I wound up in the bathroom vomitting uncontrollably while also having contractions. Kaleb helped me set up camp on the bathroom floor while I continued to be sick through out rest of the wee hours of the morning. The contractions were staying 6-8 mins apart last 30-45 seconds. They weren't all encompassing. I could even sleep through them if I chose to. Kaleb decided to call in to work. With the nausea and vomiting, I couldn't properly care for myself or Elijah. Had it been light contractions and no nausea, Kaleb could have went to work.
We let my mom, sisters and midwife know that we thought I was in early labor. I also told 4 close friends so they could be in prayer for this journey we had ahead. My moms job was to arrive with the fresh foods for the birth team and all of us. And my sister finished her work day and planned to make her 3 hour drive out to our house.
The contractions stayed on the same "pattern" the entire day. They varied in intensity. I doubted they were real. But then I would have a more intense one and would think, ok this is the real deal. I was randomly nauseous through out the day also. The night of May 31st, they slowed down but the intensity was a bit stronger. Those contractions went on through the night. But only coming every half hour or so and lasting 45 seconds. I slept great in spite of the occasional contraction. The nausea had subsided.
June 1st, I woke up to some light contractions. So I went about my day normally, I stayed up and active as much as possible but also paid attention to my energy level. We hung clothes out to dry. Cleaned up and organized some things. Worked on a few tasks for my sisters wedding. I did not want to be exhausted if labor decided to move along. So we also took rest breaks.
My mom was a huge help and took care of feeding us. We had a lovely chicken lunch with corn and green beans.
Our midwife came over at 2pm and we had our 40 week visit. She confirmed what we thought, that my body was gearing up for labor and this was the early stage.
So I decided to mow our lawn on the riding mower. That really got some good contractions going. I had to stop the mower and breath through a few. The bouncing on the mower really seemed to move baby down.
After mowing, I took a quick shower to rinse the grass off and get rid of the smell of exhaust.
I had some snacks and rested on the couch for a little while.
Kaleb and Elijah went to bed around 8:30/9pm.
My mom, sister and I ordered some wedding things online and made some decisions on some wedding details. That was fun! Around 10pm, the contractions completely stopped. I started to feel discouraged and was wondering what was going on.
As we were sitting around my computer, Kaleb comes rushing down around 11pm carrying Elijah. And puts him in the tub. Elijah had thrown up all over the bed and pillows. So I set up camp in the living room for us. And proceeded to wash all the sheets and pillowcases.
We decided it was best for my mom and sister to get some rest so at least someone would have energy to tackle tomorrow, if labor came back and even if it didn't, someone would be able to cook and keep life going.
Elijah continued to throw up and dry heave until 4 am! Kaleb and I took turns helping Elijah. He was so scared and didn't want to puke. But his body was forcing it.
As Elijah was battling this fast acting virus, it dawned on me, that the nausea and vomiting I experienced early Tuesday morning was probably an actual stomach virus and that vomitting induced contractions.
I started feeling bad that my mom and sister had come and had been exposed to this yucky sickness. I prayed and prayed they wouldn't get it.
Sometime around 4 am, Kaleb, Elijah and I all passed out. I still hadn't had any more contractions.
June 2, 2016:
I slept 4am - 7:30am when I was yanked out of sleep by a massive contraction. It was different than the rest and lasted 58 seconds. WOW!
Side note: when I was pregnant with Elijah, we went to a New Years Eve gathering and I went into labor at 3 am Jan 1st, 2013. And this time we swore we would be diligent and go to bed early when I was nearing the end of my pregnancy. And we had done so well.
Which made the current situation on June 2nd, so comical. Because we swore we would be rested when baby made his/her arrival. But--- We were exhausted from being up with Elijah yet labor was coming on quite fast!
I told Kaleb we better get the birth pool set up. And around 9:30 we started filling it up. (Silly us, we forgot the pool liner. Which meant a little more clean up afterwards). But we were so exhausted our minds weren't thinking clear.
We let our midwife know around 8:30 am and she made her way to our house. All the while, I was actively contracting and moaning through some mega contractions. I put Lauren Daigle on my YouTube channel and zoned into her beautiful worship music. The midwife arrived at 10 am and started setting up her supplies.
My sister applied counter pressure through each contraction, which was a life saver. It made ALL the difference.
I decided to go to the bathroom and had a massive contraction and some bloody show. OUCH! I do NOT enjoy laboring on the toilet.
I came back and said, "I hate laboring on the toilet. It makes me want to lunch kittens and I love cats!"
Everyone laughed.
We discussed checking my dilation so I could get in the pool if I was far enough along (5 cm +). She checked me at 11:20am and I was 8 cm! She said my cervix was so soft and was so close to being fully dilated! I was in complete awe! I hadn't had THAT many contractions. And they hadn't doubled up at all! They were consistently 1 minute long and coming every 3-4 mins. They were VERY strong but because of my previous experience with a much more intense labor (back to back contractions for 8-10 hours) I was waiting for that type of intensity. The kind that is debilitating. We told our photographer to make her way to our house.
I proceeded to get into the pool around 11:30am. The 99° water was mesmerizing. I got on my knees and rested my chest on the side of the pool. My body relaxed and then I had a contraction (number 1) that caused a LOT of pressure. Then, I had a few more minutes of relief and a contraction (number 2) where I felt baby moving down. When I reached down, my waters were bulging and with a POP type feeling they burst! That was so amazing to feel the waters rush out. The pool water was slightly warmer than body temperature so the waters felt cool as they hit my fingers. I rested my body on the edge of the pool and waited for another contraction. And when that contraction (number 3) hit, I felt so much pressure. And I got scared from the feeling and the fact that my body had taken over. I yelled some and also said "I'm so scared. Idk why I'm so scared". And I teared up. But my body was going for it. And everyone was so sweet and reassuring and said it's ok. I held Kalebs hand really tight. I wasn't pushing at all, my body did all of the work on its own. That 3rd contraction ended. I rested again by leaning into the pool. And then, another contraction (number 4) came and I was out of my head, such an out of body experience for me. And just like that her head was out. My midwife told me to reach down and feel my baby. What an amazing feeling. There was so much hair! I couldn't believe what I was feeling. I felt her cheeks and they were so soft and chunky. I was leaning back on my mom and I breathed and waited for the next contraction. When it came (number 5), I felt the baby turning and her shoulder came out. Then I felt an odd feeling, like baby was stuck. And my body just turned to the left and in an instant baby was born at 11:57 am! Our midwife scooped her up. Because I had turned onto my left side when I felt baby was a tiny bit stuck, the baby was behind me so they helped me lift my leg and then got the cord back between my legs. And placed baby on my chest! We we so excited that for a second we forgot to look what we had, boy or girl!? So I looked - IT'S A GIRL!
And just like that - River Erin Holzhauer came into the world, with a splash!
8 lb 13 oz
21 inches long
16 inch head
I can't believe it was only 5 contractions in the birth pool and she was born!
It was 3 minutes & 30 seconds from the number 4 contraction that pushed her head out until the 5th one that expelled the rest of her body!
I was only in the pool for 27 mins before she arrived!
No tears needing stitches for me, just some micro years that will heal up! I'm so grateful!
She came so fast that our photographer was still en route. But she came anyways and took some amazing photos of the placenta delivery and River still attached to her tree of life. And grabbed some fun shots of the both space and some family shots. I am so glad we sought out a professional photographer!
My sister and Kaleb did get some good photos with my Nikon. I'm so glad I had it charged and ready to go!
We had forgotten to charge our video camera. BUT Kaleb grabbed it and quick got it charging. He was able to capture the exact 3.5 mins of River being born! I am so grateful to God for the camera having the EXACT amount of battery power! Such a beautiful God moment. I've been saying God kept the camera going just long enough to capture those fleeting 3 minutes! I will cherish it forever.
River and I hung out in the tub for a while. And we took some fun photos.
Elijah came in from playing outside. That's where he was when River was being born. He was in his sandbox. Praise God, that Kaleb built him a sandbox!
And my sister snapped some fun family photos of us. Elijah ran to the living room and grabbed one of his favorite red Hotwheels cars and gave it to River. And said the car was for baby. He reached to touch her head and said "oh baby is hot! No touch! Baby is wet!" He really doesn't like hot water and she was pretty warm. He was definitely interested in her but also a bit apprehensive. So he ran off to play some more. He came back over and made sure baby had her car. It was so cute! My mama heart was bursting with so many feelings!
We waited a bit for the placenta but I was so relaxed in the water, I couldn't push or feel contractions. And River was starting to get a bit cold. So we transitioned to the couch. We waited for 1.5 hours for the placenta. I didn't want to cut the cord until the placenta was delivered. I wanted photos of River attached to her Tree of Life.
•••
Revelation 22:1-2Then he showed me a river of the water of life, clear as crystal, coming from the throne of God and of the Lamb, in the middle of its street On either side of the river was the tree of life, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit every month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.
•••
The Placenta was harder work than delivering River. But such a relief once it was finally out!
•••
Psalm 46:4
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.
••••••
The days of early labor taught me about patience and waiting on God for his perfect timing. I was starting to get frustrated after Elijah started throwing up and then I vented my frustrations and was able to let them go and pray and persevere with Gods help.
I was able to really lean into God and trust that He had us all in His hands. And He knew exactly when our baby was meant to enter this world.
When I had early labor, my mom and sister really helped me to stay active but to also take time to relax. It helped me to remember that having self control is worth it in the end. I tend to want to over do things and keep going and going. But being at peace and being calm is so much better than getting in a frenzy and freaking out!
•••
Elijahs labor was 30 hours and Rivers active labor was 4.5 hours! I'm not counting the days of early labor because they really didn't cause me any discomfort or pain.
I'm so thankful for all of the prayers from my wonderful friends & family, near and far! Rivers birth was such a healing process! I was able to reach new depths and find strength I didn't know I had. There was such a pure and tangible presence of God in the room as everyone encouraged and helped me bring River earthside. It was such a holy experience. As I look back on yesterday, I envision all the prayers prayed over the past several months and years, all bombarding together to create the most beautiful masterpiece - Rivers birth.
Psalms 36:5 Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.
Psalms 89:8 O LORD God of hosts, who is mighty as you are, O LORD, with your faithfulness all around you?
Psalms 119:90 Your faithfulness endures to all generations; you have established the earth, and it stands fast.
<< more photos to come from my big camera and the photographer >>
For now, here's two from my sisters phone.
