Today's thoughts on friendship

Do you ever have those days where past hurts creep back in?
A day where Something reminds you of an old friendship?
A day where the Memories are hard to shake? You can do your best to stuff them down. Do your best to forget all the fun times, all the I love yous, all the BFF moments, all the hang outs, all the late night driving sessions venting about men, all the future planning, all the phone calls, all the movies we watched, all the paper letters we wrote, all the prayers we prayed, the times we went to church together, all the late nights, all the dinner dates, all the sleep overs and all the talks.
 But somedays it is hard.
Hard to shake.
These days I pray.
I pray for you.
I pray that you find comfort even though this has been a painful year for you.
I pray that God is near to you as you plan your wedding. As it approaches I pray that you see the Lord in all of the little miracles that happen.
I pray for you.

Feelings creep back in and You wonder how a person could be a friend for so long and then just decide you don't matter at all. 

Facebook doesn't help either because you see too much of a person's life. Before Facebook when friendships ended you never saw that person again. But now it isn't that way. I contemplate unfriending but that would be hurtful to the other person. But then I wonder why I care considering my feelings were crushed for no good reason. 

No

Good

Reason 

Today was one of those days for me. Where everything reminds me of an ex-friend. Not an ex-boyfriend but an ex-best friend. Someone you thought was going to be a lifelong friend. The kind of friend where you have them in your wedding and you are in theirs. 

I cried today thinking about things. 

Whenever I have one of these days, I give the sad negative feelings to God (metaphorically lay them at the foot of the cross) and I pray for peace and love to fill the spaces where the sad feelings were residing. 

I will continue doing this for as long as I need. 

I am thankful that the hurt days are fewer and farther apart. 

And I am thankful that God is faithful and loves me even when other people blatantly disregard my feelings. 

I also pray that I don't stop being friends with people that haven't done anything to me. I mean, I would understand if I had done something to deserve to be cut out of someone's life. But I didn't. What I did do was choose Jesus instead of alcohol. I chose Jesus over the party. I chose Jesus over sin. And my friend decided that the world was far far more important than our friendship. That is the hard part. Sitting back and watching as someone chooses the world instead of me.
I never meant to make my friend feel guilty by choosing to leave the worldly life behind. But that is what happened when I was open and honest and said I was no longer able to stand by and watch as she sins openly and in public.
I felt guilty enough that I had wasted so much time at bars and at parties.
That is the risk we take when we decide that JESUS is more important than the party. 

Ok. It's late and I've run out of the ability to make good and proper sentences. 

Goodnight & God Bless! 💜