Being a mother||What I have learned.

I wanted to list all of the things I have learned during the past 8 months.

I have learned: 

1. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING 

I believe I already knew this prior to being Elijah's mom, however, it has become even more clear. If I say I can, I will succeed. This goes for everything in life. It is very very true in regards to breastfeeding. 

2. I LOVE BREASTFEEDING

 I knew that breastfeeding would be something special, because my mom was always saying how much she enjoyed it. Now here I sit experiencing the joy for myself. I was thinking about how God created this intricate system within my body that allows the PERFECT milk to be created. Milk exactly specifically detailed to what my son needs. Not only is it the best food for my baby, it gives him the security and constant bond to his mother. Every few hours we cuddle up on the couch with a soft blanket and he nurses and I let him hold my hand. I look down and he is gently wiggling his foot on my leg. Sometimes, ever so gently, he rubs my collarbone. He peers up at me with his beautiful brown eyes and I can see the love and contentment in his eyes. 

He isn't attached to an object that feeds him. He is attached to his mother. He finds comfort in me. He finds shelter and test amongst my bosom. It is a beautiful and ever fleeting existence. In a few short years, our sweet son won't need me to feed him any longer. With each passing day, our bond as mother and son has become that much more beautiful. This bond is crucial to the future of my child. It is important that we bond as infants. It helps us bond later in life. And bonding doesn't just take place at the breast. That is just one of many bonding experiences. You cannot have too many! 

I thought about, how God made it this way. Babies are not supposed to be away from their mothers. 

God wants us to follow His guidelines. But we have taken it upon ourselves to change the rules and do things our way. We say we know what is best, without even thinking about the way God designed things. Why did God make our breasts?? to produce milk? If we just let them dry up and don't feed our children, aren't we wasting a gift that God has given us?? 

The facts are that Elijah nurses every 2-4 hours which leads me to think that it's important for him to be with me all the time. (Of course I am blessed to be able to stay home with him- not pointing fingers at anyone who has to work to survive)...

3. MOTHERHOOD IS A SACRIFICIAL EXISTENCE 

It is a daily sacrifice. Not only do we sacrifice our perfect bodies to pregnancy, but we sacrifice our bodies after the child is born. Things get saggy and stretched out. I have also had to sacrifice my time and my wants. I find myself not caring about buying anything for myself, I want Elijah to have the best things. His needs and wants are now above my own needs and wants. I would not have it any other way. It feels natural. I feel this is what selflessness is and I find it to be chastening my soul and strengthening my faith. I want for nothing. Seeing my son smiling and free and full of life is enough for me. He is a dream come true. 

4. DISCIPLINE IS HARD

I haven't had to discipline Elijah much at all, yet. But he did bite me while nursing and I sternly said no! And removed him from my breast and placed him in the floor. Because that is the advice I was given. He looked up at me so pitifully and cried and cried. I waited 1 minute and picked him up and hugged him and let him continue nursing. He has not purposefully bitten me since that day. It was a tearful moment for Elijah and for me. 

It has given me such a clear picture as to how our God feels when we choose sin and the world instead of Him. And He watches the consequences ensue upon our lives. Or when He lets trials come our way to teach us lessons and ultimately to have us rely on Him. Just as our children rely on us. 

Patenting is such a picture of God. It is so beautiful if we choose to see the beauty.

5. I AM NOT GROSSED OUT BY ANYTHING 

After Being a mother, I am pretty certain that their is nothing that can make my stomachs churn. It is incredible how we become desensitized! I have to give some of the credit to Anatomy and physiology class in college. Dissecting a cat was pretty rough. And helping a man with necrotizing fasciitis in LPN school was pretty rough. That smell was intense!! Rotting flesh! But now, changing diapers and being puked on and slivered on and licked and sucked on, I feel that I am tough as nails! I am thankful for that toughness! 

6. MARRIAGE TAKES EFFORT

Honestly, marriage before Elijah was easy. Granted, it had only been a year and a half of marriage before Elijah was born. But communicating was easy and finding time for one another was simple. Everything was easy. Now, instead of being completely spontaneous, our lives have to be planned. We have to work around Elijah's schedule. When he sleeps we can enjoy a meal together or cuddle on the couch. It has taken these past 8 months to fully grasp that. We have to Jose to make time for one another. It's easy for days to go by without really having conversation about how we are doing and feeling. It's easy to let things be about "the baby". But we work every single day to stay connected to one another. I am thankful for technology. It allows us to have dialogue. It helps. I love my husband more today than yesterday. We have a lifetime on earth and forever in Heaven with our Savior. 

7. We are blessed 

Plain and simple. God has given us more than we could ever ask for! Especially, considering how selfish I have lived. The list of my short comings and sins and failures, have been erased. I can walk upright and with honor. Knowing my Jesus has redeemed my soul. I am excited to share my love for Christ with Elijah and any future children we may have! 

8. Being a mom is the most tiring job I have ever had!I once worked 60 hours a week and went to college full time. I thought I was tired then!! But wow, the exhaustion I feel at the end of some days is overwhelming. Those are simply the facts. Even though its tiring, it is the MOST rewarding, by far!! There is no greater feeling than seeing your child develop at his/her own pace and flourish and excel and smile and laugh! It has changed Kaleb and I, forever. Life is about our family now. All other ground separate of Christ's love sinking sand! 

9. I WOULD BE LIST WITHOUT JESUS

At the center of our family, is our Savior. He has to be the center of it all! ALL! If we  forget about God, life stops making sense. He is where I pull my strength from. I know that even when things get rough and I am tired, God is near and he lifts me up, where I can see clearly and where I can stand. 

He is a solid rock. 

I look at Elijah and I am so thankful for him. My perfect, sweet little boy. 

10. I WANT LOTS MORE KIDS!