Night time thoughts from Jenni's heart...

People of this world make me sad. Been thinking about how sad I used to be. And missing friends I made while I was lost and searching. When you choose to not drink, with that choice comes many losses. 

You are left out.

So called friends quit calling. They make up lame excuses about how they think your apartment is too small. Or because I'm married, I'm too busy. 

When deep down, you know the real reason. 

The real reason is, a life lived for Jesus makes them uncomfortable. They will never admit that. They will just say stupid crap in fb messages or via texting. 

Lame. Excuses. 

Because these people are too cowardly to say, 

look Jenni, the real reason I straight up quit talking to you is because I don't understand this new life you are leading. I feel like you are just judge mental and stuck up now that you don't drink or smoke. And I don't want to be made to feel like drinking or smoking is bad. So our so called friendship and the love I had for you has just disappeared. And i WILL go find new friends and tell them i love them. And all of the memories and talks and advice and everything doesn't matter to me anymore. IT IS AS IF OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER HAPPENED!!! 

Well, I am here to tell you all that what I write above is a narrative hypothetical conversation. Of sorts. No one has ever given me a good solid heartfelt reason for ending a friendship! 

Because I have had many friendships end. And every time I have been made to feel that it's ME! That I am a horrible friend. And that my friendship doesn't matter! 

But I know the truth! And the truth has set me free! 

Friends that both love Jesus above all else, are friends for life!! They are blessings and they are rare!! 

Everything matters. You matter. I matter. The choices we make matter! Step outside of your comfort zone and be courageous! When the whole world is saying do this or do that, take the narrow road and do neither! For God's sake, live a life that matters! 

I had to write down my thoughts on friendship! Right now, living in a new place, I am feeling many emotions about making friends:

 frankly, I feel nervous and apprehensive because I have been hurt by so many friends. And especially within the last year, a friend whom I thought would be a forever kind, simply quit speaking to me. And it's been a hard year if coming to terms with all if the emotions I have felt about my once dear friend. 

I also don't want anyone reading this to take offense. I have had several friendships amicably end. That's DIFFERENT!!      

Prayers are appreciated! 

For I know the Bible says FEAR NOT!!! And I want to replace that dear in my heart with courage! 

In Jesus name! 

Blessings to all!!