Why is it "babyish" for a 4 year old to need his mom?
Why is an infant expected to sleep through the night?
Why is 2 the magic potty training age?
Why is breastfeeding past age one such a stigma?
Why is an 18 month old expected to always feed themselves and stop being like a baby?
Why is needing to be held a bad thing? At any age?
WHY?
These are just a few of the questions I have about our American modern parenting ideas.
Since becoming a parent, I have learned one major thing: The American way of parenting is a bunch of cow poop! Seriously!
There are all of these expectations. Demanding that children grow up faster than they need to is the main one. The moment a child is born there are all sorts of expectations. And the infant is constantly failing. Never measuring up to what society says he or she should be doing!
But my question is, why!? Why do these expectations exist? Why do we cow tail to society?
Why do we force babies to do things? Why don't more parents research what is ACTUALLY best for the baby!? --Not what doctors SAY is best.
Why don't we let the baby stay a baby? They spend 9-10 months inside of our bodies. Then in a flash we expect them to detach and sleep all alone in a bassinet/crib.
And my question is WHY?
Cribs haven't always existed. And our human species kept going? How?
Out on the African Safari, where parenting is simply instinctual, I'm sure they would find our idea of cribbing infants, completely ridiculous. Because they keep their children close at night.
Or if we asked them how many times a day does your baby eat? They wouldn't have a clue what we were asking. Because they simply nurse their baby every time he/she needs them. And they don't write down how long they fed or at what time. They don't wean their children. They just live. Breastfeeding is necessary for survival. And that is how I view breastfeeding. And I don't care what anyone thinks or says. I will nurse Elijah as long as he wants. I trust that he will stop when he no longer needs the comfort and security of my bosom. Until then, back off!
I digress, back to my original thought process, why?
Why can't a baby stay a baby? I had no idea that as my child turned one and continued to grow taller and stronger, that people would look down on me for nursing, cosleeping, and cuddling. Why is it, one, any of your business? And two, why is it a bad thing to let Elijah be attached to me? I see that he is thriving and healthy. He is social and loves people. He is smiley and verbal & very observant. He isn't shy. He is loud and friendly.
People often compliment me and Kaleb on how cute and friendly E is. And I always think, a lot of work went into allowing him to become himself. And a lot of thought went into his life. --Caring about HIS feelings. Putting him first and putting him above my wants and my feelings.
I wonder how he would be if I forced him to detach. If I kept him at arms length. If I was planning how to get him to be self soothing before he even learns to talk? Would he be scared? Would he be shy?
I'm glad I don't know the answers to those questions.
I think as parents, in 2014, in America, we should question more things. We should question doctors. We should question other parents! Instead of saying, nonchalantly, "I did what was best for my child". When in reality, we often choose what is BEST for us and we label it "best for our child". We hide behind this facade. The facade that we aren't selfish beings. Many parenting choices aren't for the BEST interest of the child involved. The choices are for us. Why do we want the baby to sleep through the night? Because we are tired? Because WE WANT SLEEP? Do we ever take a moment to think about the child's needs? Because we should. Their physiological and emotional needs should come first! FIRST!
Why do we jam pacifiers into brand new, newborns mouths? Why don't we figure out what they NEED first? More than likely, they are hungry OR they want to be held. I never gave a paci to Elijah before trying everything else. Every time he seemed agitated, I nursed him. Every. Time. Pacifiers being in a baby's mouth constantly is unnatural. The baby is so tiny and I see what parents do, they jam the pacifier in and hold it there until the baby succumbs to it. I think a paci used appropriately is a different story. But it shouldn't be the first solution. It should be the last. It has NEVER given me a happy feeling. Like the feeling I get when I hear a baby cry and then watch as the mother soothes the babe with her breast. It's beautiful! Simple. Lovely. I get weepy talking about it. It's something so human and beautiful. It's also something incredibly holy and sacred. I hope I will be a breastfeeding mother for the next 10 years. I would be okay if E nursed and then another baby came and we kept on nursing.
I will end on this note::::
We should want what is TRULY best for our kids. God gives us the best. He sent His son to die so we could have eternal life. The least, LEAST we can do is love our children and give them the best of us.
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8 NIV)
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